Early on in The Big Lebowski, the Narrator (none other than the immortal Sam Elliot) describes The Dude as quite possibly the laziest man in the world. Certainly he's lazy, but I would say he's more a man who just prefers not to have a job. He's definitely not lazy when it comes to getting his rug back, and everything that follows from that. No, I'd say the laziest man in the world would have to be Dishwasher Pete (now, Dishwasher, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from...) aka Pete Jordan. Though he did manage to write a book called Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States so maybe he's not all that lazy either. He first came to my attention in one of my podcasts, This American Life most likely, and then that same week I saw his book in one of the bookstores I frequent, so obviously it was fate that I read it. Glad I did, I haven't laughed so hard in a while. He just wanted to wash dishes. Even chopping carrots was too much- once when a boss asked him, he deliberately chopped them way too thick. "Like this?" "No, thinner." So he'd do it paper thin. "Like this?" "No, thicker!" and he just did that back and forth a few times till his boss just gave up and let him be. Letterman even invited him on the show but he sent someone else in his stead. An impostor! So yeah, definitely a recommended read.
 I was washing the dishes with Pallas just tonight. She always pulls a chair over from the kitchen table to stand on. Lots of times she pulls my chair over, so today I asked her to take her own chair, since hers is already all ruined and wrecked from being spilt on and suffering sundry other abuses that only a toddler can impose. I've noticed that mine is starting to show some signs of damage from her overflowing destructive forces. So I said, "Pallas can you just use your own chair?"
 "Why?"
"Because yours is already wrecked and I like to keep the damage to a minimum."
Then she said something along the lines of what's wrong with a little healthy carnage?
"Well all the stuff you wreck costs money. Spending money on stuff just so you can wreck it makes daddy sad."
"But I don't want daddy to be sad."  She started crying.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not THAT sad."
"But I don't want daddy to be sad." Fullblown sobs now.
"Wait, I didn't mean sad! I'm not sad. More just, mildly chagrined."
"Sniff sniff. Okay." And then she was happy.