Isn't there a football game on today? It's been a while since I payed much attention to American football. And in fact, I know absolutely nothing about the present incarnation of either team. But that won't stop me from handicapping the game for you, using my Ingenious and Infallible method of adding "poo" to the two teams involved. So it's the Pittsburgh PooSteelers vs the Seattle Poohawks, eh? Well, obviously, stealing poo is immoral and really gross, but when has that ever stopped Pittsburgh? In fact, the only way I can see the Poohawks winning this one is if they litter the field with so much birdturd that the Pittsburgh defence is overwhelmed. Not gonna happen. PooSteelers 31, Poohawks 13.