As my 35th birthday rapidly approaches I am thinking about mortality. I mean, I'm halfway to 70 right? And only five years away from 40. I don't feel old. This morning I was sitting on the couch reading a Star Wars comic book, so really nothing has changed in 30 years. And yet. The grey hairs. The sore muscles alla time. The constant tiredness. I guess ole Father Time hasn't forgotten me after all. Well, what can you do?
Plan your epitaph, that's what.
I remember in junior high or sometime, maybe grade 8, we did a little unit on graveyards and epitaphs. You know, the funny ones like "Here lies Les Moore- no Les, no more." So our assignment was to think of what we wanted on our headstone. I still remember mine and am kind of tempted to use it- "I might be dead but the joke's on you- someday soon you're gonna die too!" Sepultura says something similar but with much more death metally-coolness:
Who are you to criticize, to judge and burn the tribes? Your world will go extinct, and your flesh will rot with mine!
That would be the coolest tombstone ever. Though now I wonder if that's the right message to leave my daughter, grand-daughter, widow and all those great-grand-children I'm sure to have someday. Maybe Royal Tenenbaum had the right idea: