Alright well here are a few lessons I've learned from coal mining, hopefully you will find this completely unedifying and inapplicable to your own lives. These are some things I learned the hard way:

-don't hide your hardhat in a contractor's truck so you can sneak home early for Christmas, otherwise you leave yourself open to being framed for stealing gas
-potheads are really big and heavy, so it's a good idea not to get snmashed in the face with one
-they also carry 7200 volts, so try not to disconnectode them till you get the "safe to work on the line" call
-even when they are disconnectoded, they can still carry a discharge so be careful about sticking your fingers in them. 7200 volts of static shock can clench all your muscles and render them sore for a few hours.
-no matter how many times they say they fixed shovel 6, they didn't fix shovel 6. Shovel 6 can not be fixed.
-you wouldn't think bananas can explode, but they can, and they make an awful mess of the rest of your lunch