Owie Badguy is real.

I came downstairs to go trick or treating with the girls. Pallas' eyes got all wide and she said "Owie Badguy!"
"Hello Spider-White, are you ready to go fight crime?"
"Who's crime?"
"Crime is a badguy."

When you have little ones, you don't get to go out to see many movies. So you gotta be choosy when the opportunities arises. Big movies with lots of explosions and spaceships and hulks and stuff. Even when I had all the time in the world to go see movies, I hardly ever went to see "small" movies- comedies, for example, since what do you lose in the translation to dvd? It's not like you need to see Adam Sandler in full 3D IMAX experience.

Last night we chose to see Argo. Loved it. Kind of a small movie- I have no idea what the budget was but there are hardly any Wookiees or droids in it. Hardly any ;) Just full of tension that keeps building and building. Well, I don't really do reviews, just go see it if you want, or don't. But I recommend it.

It's been ten years of Pooing in the Woods. An insignificant anniversary to all but me, I know, but that's okay. Still not sure what the future has in store for this blog, it's all obsolescent and senescent using ten year old technology. But for now let me have a moment of satisfaction.

Behold, a much better drawing of Owie Badguy. My deviantArt friend MistyTang (who drew the Halloween Bear to your left and a few  others as well )was having a super sale on commissions so i thought I would get her to do up a quick portrait of Owie there. If you're just tuning in, Owie badguy was created by my daughter, who is 3.

On the way to the Mac's today Pallas and I discussed our usual philosophies.
"Dad, can you beat Darth Maul?"
"Uh, well, he's pretty tough. But, it's ok because he's only pretend and even if he wasn't he lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." Because there's no way I could beat Darth Maul, ever.
"That's right, he lives in Star Wars."
"Yeah."
Little later. "But what if we scare Darth Maul and he comes and captures us or just, just lightsabers us?"
"He won't. And if he was scared wouldn't he run away?"
"Oh yeah."

It goes on like that every day, and I love every minute of it.

Spent the last work week getting trained on drills. When I was an oiler I spent a lot of time on and around drills and they always looked really complicated- all these knobs and buttons and levers and stuff. Turns out, not so much. Pretty simple. To be fair, though, the newish drills we have now are all computerized and GPSatized and pretty much fool-proof.  I will say that it takes a special kind of person to be a good drill operator- a person who is comfortable with doing not very much for prolonged periods of time. A person who prefers quiet contemplation to constant motion and action. A lazy person, in other words. I tell you now, I am that person.

Pallas and I went on a daddy/daughter date to "Trapters". it was so much fun. She's growing up so fast (she recently wrote her name for the first time!) Even going there was fun- stopped at the LRT tracks, we saw two trains go by and an ambulance!  Such lucky ducks we are. Anyways when we were there we spent most of our time in the kids section ,where she was allowed to choose one item to get, but of course we had a tea party and stuff for a while first.
Later we went over to my section, ie the trade paperback comics section which is also handily right by the fantasy/scifi books. "Do you like comics dad?"
"You know I do, Pallas!"
"I was just being silly."
"I know."
Then she saw one of Charlaine Harris' books (the ones True Blood are based on) and she recognized the covers because Michelle has some and gets the others from the library. She got all excited and wanted me to buy it for her.
"But sweetie, this isn't really a book for little girls. See? It's just all words, no pictures or anything." I didn't mention all the vampire werewolf faery human sex.
"Dad! You silly!  I'm a big girl. And I can SO read! I can read I Spy books."
The book I wound up getting was neiter comic nor scifi. It was Jian Ghomeshi's 1982 which I basically read in a day. I enjoyed it- I really only bought it since as a CBC nerd I consider Jian a personal friend (anti-restraining order disclaimer: Jian is not my personal friend). And even then, 1982 and Bowie are not really subjects I had much interest in. I was 8 in 1982, so a little young to have been tuned into the zeitgeist. 1986 and I'm all in. Especially if it's all about Gowan (who Jian mentions in passing, sweet!) Like I said, though, I read it in a day so obviously I enjoyed it a lot. It's very funny and also has that awkwardness that characterized the entire 80s decade, at least for me, so I could identify even though it wasn't quite about my exact generation.
Sidenote- I also just received my copy of Stephen Tobolowsky's The Dangerous Animals Club. I haven't read it yet, but as a huge fan of his podcast, I have a pretty good idea of what's in it. You should get it. Seriously. Jian Ghomeshi should get it too. And have Tobo on Q. I'm really serious. Here's why. The Talking Heads song, Radio Head? You know the one. That the band Radiohead was named after. Yeah. That song is about Stephen Tobolowsky. I am totally not lying. I am sure that story is in the book, but if not, check out episode, uh, well I forget but just listen to them all.
Well, to bring this back to Pallas, I'll also say I introduced her today to one of my favorite movies- The Iron Giant. I got a shirt from Teefury that mashed up Iron Man and Iron Giant so of course hse wanted to know what that was all about. So we watched it together. Damn. That movie gets me every time. Poor little Pallas was just inconsolable. Actually a Dragonette dance party consoled her up pretty good, but she was crying for a long time before we thought of it. Then tonight when I was putting her to bed, she was like, "I don't want Iron Giant to come and get me."
But he won't, he's only imaginary and anyways he's a good guy.
"But but but I don't want him to step on me, I'm just little."
He's very careful not to step on people, sweetie. And anyways, he's imaginary remember?
"I don't want any mosters to come either."
"Monsters know better than to mess with me, sweetie. And imaginary!  Very imaginary."

Every great superhero needs a good Rogue's Gallery of villains and nemeses. So today at work i was brainstorming ideas from Pallas' large little world and I came up with a few. So here are Owie Badguy's bad guys.

1. Stinknut the No. Low level mob thug, probably an enforcer, utterly without mercy. Even when victims plead for their lives, his answer is always no. This is inspired by Naia whose nickname is The Peanut. Sometimes though we call her stinknut. And her favorite word is no. She even says it in varying tones of voice while sleeping. Stinknut the No, yo!

2. Terrible Two. Surely this has been done? I'm writing this out on my iPad in Evernote so I'll google it later. Super powered twins, with some sort of superpowers. You know.

3.Snot Dragon. As parents we learned that children quickly become snot dragons when they're sick. Anyways Snot Dragon would be a mystical martial artist who summons dragons who spew snot rather than fire.

4. Pallmall. Pallas was calling herself that for a while, though it evolved to Powmom or some thing later on. Anyways Pallmall would be your Joker-like psycho who just likes chaos for its own sake.

5. Trum. Your basic rampaging monster with rage issues and utterly without the ability to be reasoned with. Owie Badguy's very own hulkish analogue. Derived from tantrum, of course.

6. Night Knight. His goal in life is for the whole world to say good night. Permanently! And his favorite book is Goodnight Moon. Owie Badguy fights N.K well past the point of exhaustion,
seemingly every. single . night.

7. Gomer Pile O' Bones. We decided our Halloween skeleton hanging outside is named Gomer and my subconscious knew there was a joke in there somewhere. Finally got it to surface. An animate skeleton! Probably kind of clumsy too though I have to admit i really have no idea who Gomer Pyle is.

8. Hohoho. Pallas used to think Santa's name was Hohoho so I thought an evil santaish character with that name would be kind of cool.

9. Bastroyer. Marvel has Galactus. DC has the Anti-Monitor. But even they must bow to . . . Bastroyer! Your basic giant planet-killer. Owie Badguy would still punch him in the face though.

10. Owie Goodguy. Obviously, Owie Badguy's evil clone.

Introducing . . . Owie Badguy! Pallas told me she had a new name for a good guy.
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Owie Badguy."
"Oh, so, he's a bad guy?"
"No, he's a good guy. He makes bad guys say owie."
"Oh, I see. By punching them in the face?"
"Yeah!"
"Well that's the best superhero I ever heard of."

 She tells me his costume is supposed to be blue, with a brown mask, and pink wings. I took some artistic licence and decided to omit the wings. When you're as awesome as Owie Badguy is, being able to fly is just getting greedy.

 First ones on the block! Got some new Halloween deocrations this yeaar so as not to be too repetitive. I love the black pumpkin inflatable thing we have but this year I went with something a little different. And that life-size skeleton was too cool to pass up. Although the first one I bought turned out to be missing a foot and an arm. Luckily I discovered this when I was buckling it into my passenger seat (he has to go somewhere right?) so I took it back into the Walmart and exchanged it for a whole one. Not gonna lie- had I got it all the way home I woulda just accepted that some skeletons are incomplete and obviously this one met a violent end. Carrying it through the walmart I made all the easy jokes to passersby like, "This isn't for halloween this is my wife, thats how long we've been in here" and so forth. I am a laff riot.

Bonus pic of the girls because they're sooooo cute!

 

Yay October! This month marks the tenth anniversary of Pooing in the Woods. Been trying to think of appropriate commemorative things to do to mark the decade but so far drawing a blank. I mean, it would be easy to search the archives for favourite posts and such but that doesn't seem very interesting to me. Also been thinking about completely overhauling the blog, maybe going to Wordpress or something since my comments widget went away forever starting today. And maybe retiring the Homie Bear identity and all that, the internet has kind of outgrown usernames in recent years. Well, the actual anniversary date is the 22nd so I have a few weeks to think about it. I'd invite your comments but not allowed!