Nothing went right last night. And it started off so great- it was Friday, after all! All us coal miners on the bus were laughing and joking as we headed off to work for the last of our four nightshifts. Just twelve more hours and we could all go home for five days! What could ruin such a great feeling?
Let me tell you.
First, I was assigned Shovel 5, the oldest, smallest and digger in the pit. Which wasn't so bad- I figured I could set up my XM radio and be able to listen to something other than country for a change, since I would be operating rather than oiling for someone else. So the first thing I did was string up the antenna on the roof of the cab, running it through an open window, and taping it to the ceiling to prevent it from getting severed during the night. When I went to turn on the inhouse AM/FM radio (without which the satellite receiver is just a very expensvie clock)I discovered that the radio was fried. So I sighed, but said to myself, "It's Friday! Life is good!"
Life wasn't so good for long. My bucket door wouldn't stay closed. Imagine you're at a beach, trying to fill your wagon with sand using a pail with no bottom. That's kind of what I was doing last night, only instead of being at a beach, I was in a big black pit, and rather than a lil' red wagon, I was loading 260-ton dumptrucks. I was trying not to get frustrated, but I have to admit I was cursing vehemently. I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't worth getting mad about, since it was Friday, and look! My XM radio is playing a kickass song! Too bad I can't hear it, but at least I can sing it in my head. "Dum de doo de f*&K g-d--n piece of s^!t!"
I decided it was time to be proactive. I swung the bucket around,set my brakes, grabbed a catbar, and went down to clear out all the gunk that was clogging up the dutchman. Suddenly it was pouring hail, and I was soaked in seconds. But that's okay, I was being proactive. Poking the five-foot metal bar into the ten-ton metal bucket, I was alarmed when lightning started thundering all around. I decided I would rather deal with faulty buckets than fried brains, so I went back inside.
Anyways, more trials with the bucket, including when the trip cable got stuck behind the latchbar, but you get the picture. Around midnight I decided it was time to reward myself with my carefully hoarded energy drink, since the caffeine would keep me going well into today. I took a glorious sip, set it down, and cursed (again) as I let the gravity-controlled bucket fall a little too hard, causing it to slam against the boom, pummeling poor old shovel 5. "Oops," I thought, "Better be more alert. Can't be having these little moments of inattention. I know- I'll drink some more of that sweet sweet Guarana-laced nectar." Only the bucketbomb had sent the undersized can flying out of its holder, spilling its life-giving elixir onto the greasy, coal-besooted floor.
Then I really started swearing.
Anyways, at just after the halfway point of the shift, the shovel's ability to propel inexplicably vanished, and it took the electrician the rest of the shift to fix it. Which left me with not much to do but lament my spilt caffeine. I guess it wasn't so bad after all. Hey- it's Friday and I have five days off! Isn't it Wednesday for the rest of the world? Have fun at work!