Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Part 2.II.ii of the Norse Pixie Epic by HB and ST (I combined yesterday's segments into one):

Hrungir's combustion was not as spontaneous as it might have appeared. Worng had snuck around behind the giant's chair and lit his lighter in the vicinity of Hrungir's bummal area. Finally Hrungir could contain himself no longer, and the entrapped gaseous cloud within him escaped with a roar like a blizzard. Thus was Hrungir introduced simultaneously to the concept of Blue Angels and to actual angels. Not to imply that Hrungir became an angel, it merely means that he met some on his ballistic flight into the lower atmosphere.
When he landed, he was one furious frost giant. He roared and raged, then grabbed his iciclub and started smashing Pixie-pads and bashing Mome Rath-mushrooms. Worng, Yggir and Frettnir watched in dismay as all the faeryfolk fled from the havoc they had caused. The Valkyrie were called in and they quickly assessed the situation. They decided that the best way to subdue Hrungir would be to conjure an apparition of a floating frosty snow cone, and have him chase after it all the way to the Vatnajökull Glacier. When Hrungir saw the tantalizing intangible treat he immediately took off after it and was not heard from again until Ragnarok.

Stepping their way delicately through the carnage, the Pixie Police came and arrested the three pixies (allegedly) responsible for the disaster. They went without fuss to the palace of the Pixie King, there to be punished.
King Krindr was a typical pixie in that he was mostly a decent sort of person, given to mischief and the pursuit of fun, and for that reason he was a good ruler- laid-back and easygoing. He didn't particularly want to punish Worng and the others, but he had no choice. What they had done was serious- even the courtyard they were in had been a courtroom prior to Hrungir's rampage. First he had to get their side of the story. "So . . . would you care to explain what happened?"
Worng said, "Your Majesty sir, it's all my fault and I ask that Frettnir and Yggir be released."
"Yeah!" said Frettnir.
"No!" cried Yggir, "We're just as much to blame as Worng. I will share in whatever punishment he gets!"
Krindr ignored them, for the moment. He had an admission of guilt, and so he needed to pronounce judgement. "Worng," he said, "for the part you played in the devastation of Pixieland, I have no choice but to punish you to death!"
Everyone in the throneroom gasped- capital punishment was unheard of in Krindr's court.
"Death!!?? Your Highness, I . . . I . . . " Worng had no words.
"Yeah, I was just kidding. Now you know how Hrungir felt when you tricked him. Not very nice, is it? Your real sentence, however, is banishment. You and your sister, and Frettnir too, are hereby exiled to Midgard. You're going to go live with the humans."

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