My old room-mate Tom has recently gotten back in touch with me- he really misses me a lot. Heck, I even sort of miss him, or at least, miss making fun of him. He was the subject of one of my favorite poosts ever, and made an appearance in another old favorite. He was saying he often dreams of the golden age of our lives, when he was living in the House of Poo, sitting at my feet and gleaning as much wisdom as he could. He recently emailed me a list of my attributes that I thought I would share with you. Keep in mind Tom's emotional stuntedness which causes him to write seemingly mean things in order to demonstrate his affection:

Nathan's Top Ten Worst Attributes:
10. His last name was obviously 'borrowed' from the word waddle. As in, "look at that duck waddle!" However, Nathan DOES NOT waddle, nor is he even slightly related to our honourable animal friend The Duck, which invented the walk, and thus the word waddle; which Nathan blatantly stole and misused for his own last name purposes!!!!
9. Nathan temps Dairy Fate by drinking from his milk jug directly - even when his more righteous roommate happens to buy the same type of milk jug, which could obviously be mistaken for his own!
8. Nathan calls certain roommates 'beerwench' while playing poker, demanding that the roommate get him a beer from the fridge.
7. Nathan has a degree in 'Rocks.'
6. Nathan's name backwards is: Nahtan. This rhymes with Satan!...as it...sort of does... when spelt forwards too!!!!!!
5. Nathan secretly wishes that he was as good looking as his former roommate.
4. Nathan is quite poor with languages and is unable to read the following lines: Du bist eine stupid monkey anus!
3. NATHAN IS THE BIG LEBOWSKI!!!!!!!!
2. Some of the stuff in his blog really really happened! I can't tell you what...but it's the bad stuff...not the nice stuff...THE BAD STUFF!!!

And the number one Worst Attribute is:

1. He sniffs glue!!!!

I may Pulp Fiction him later (as in, Allow me to retort.)