One of the many minor annoyances you learn to deal with at work is trying to get stuff from the warehouse. Although I've never thought about it in these terms before, I suppose you could make a list of rules of how to deal with warehousemen:
1. Never go to the warehouse at their coffee time as, though they will eventually help you, you will have to wade through about 50 tons of whinging and moaning first.
2. Be prepared to either kiss some ass or sling some bullshit before you get what you want.
3. They love to fuck with you.
So. I went down there at my foreman's behest to get three items. A drill bit for 25 drill, some coffee, and some creamer. I wrote the list down on my hand so I wouldn't forget. The drill bit was no problem. But coffee is on the list of banned subtsances, apparently. Along with pens. Last year or so there was a problem with coffee and pens going missing so now there are extra procedures and precautions in place to make sure no one steals them.
"Can I have some coffee and creamer?"
"No. Your foreman has to get that."
"Well, he sent me to get some. See?" I showed him my hand with the grocery list written on it. Since I forgot to get my hand notarized he wasn't impressed.
"Your foreman has to talk to my foreman."
I didn't even know they had a foreman and pretty much thought he was fucking with me. But whatever, that coffee is so disgusting I wasn't heartbroken to not get any. Anyways he loads me up with the drillbit and then he tells me to go ask his foreman for some coffee. I even get to go inside the warehouse to do this. He points to a closed door. "Just go in there," he says. I know better than that, so I knock. I can clearly hear someone talking on the phone inside so I know someone's there. I wait. Now the whole warehouse crew is watching me, which is kind of weird.
"Just walk in, we always do," they say. Mindful of rule #3 I knock again. Still no answer. Eventually I give in to peer pressure and open the door.
"I didn't answer the door for a reason," some guy who I've never seen before barks at me. He is young, probably younger than me, seated at a desk and dressed in a t-shirt and sweats. Since I am a pumpman out in the pit, I have to wear full safety paraphernalia, vest, coveralls, steel toed rubber boots (which are always wet on the inside), hardhat, and I always have a few layers of mud as extra protection.
"Uh yeah, sorry. Um, can I get some coffee?"
"No you can't get some coffee, there are procedures in place and even though I didn't write them I have to follow them. Your foreman has to come see me directly."
"Well, technically he's not supposed to leave the pit."
"Not my problem- speak to Gary about it. His policy, I just have to follow them."
He is so over the top anal about this that now I have a mission to get some coffee out of this guy or die trying. I show him my hand. "See, he sent me to get some coffee, I wrote it down right here."
Now he loses it. He jumps out of his chair and starts raving, I can't even remember all he said but he finally mentioned how it's a good thing it was month-end since, even though he was up to his ass in alligators (a favorite expression of harried foremen out at the mine, though in his spotless office I could see no evidence of alligators or even gecko lizards) he could bend the rules this one time. "You tell your foreman this is his One. Got it?"
He takes me back to a locked cabinet and grudgingly gives me two bags of coffee and way more creamer than I need.
"I'm not usually such a dick but it's month-end you know?"
"Yeah," I say. What the hell does that mean, I wonder. Long ago I learned that the absolutely best way to deal with people who have tantrums is to remain completely calm and serene. This job has made me so dirty, and scarred, and jaded, and tough even, that all I can do is laugh at this clean, soft, petty little child freaking out about some coffee.
As he stomps back to his office I can't resist. "I suppose it would be too much to ask for some pens, eh?"

Date night! We were planning to go see Eat Pray Love but it didn't work out. So sad right? Instead we had Indian food on Whyte and then bought many books. Many books. Some form the used bookstore some from the new. And then we went to a Second Cup and read books till we got chased away by the Tango dancing. Yes, tango dancing at the SCup.
Some of my bookswag from tonight:
Marvel's adaptation of George RR Martin's Hedge Knight II- Sworn Sword. I just got the first volume from the library and it is kickass. Set in the same world as A Song of Fire and Ice, but 100 years before. Lotsa Targaryens still around.
Shit My Dad Says- I'm late to the party since I never followed him on Twitter but at least I beat the sitcom. Very funny.
A signed Little Brother by Cory Doctorow. When was he here?
Geektastic, Holly Black. We went to SDCC. Obviously we need this book.
Half Brother, Kenneth Oppel. Chimps! From the bat guy!

So one of my Flickr friends, Skipthefrogman, not only takes fantastic photos of his Star Wars and GI Joes, he also even dabbles in casting moulds. Moulding casts? So he made his own mandalorian helmet and made up a figure for me, complete with old-skool card. Sweet!

The irony certainly didn't escape me. I spent all week running shovel, loving every minute I wasn't doing my normal pumpman job. You remember, the job I took because I didn't want to run shovel.
Anyways. What's with all the Russian military aircraft making like they're going to invade Canada lately? Are they bored? Feeling the Cold War Nostalgia Blues? Or getting ready to invade the Arctic to claim all its supposed oil?
Also- sewer diggers discovered bones from an Edmontosaurus and an Albertosaurus right here in Edmonton. Alberta. Not discovered- any Calgarysauruses. Cause there's no such thing sucka!
And look- all of Chewbacca's dialog from Star Wars!

Hey Homie Bear where you been? Oh you know, here and there. Where here is Edmonton and there is Hinton. Haven't been doing too much really, especially with all the end of the world smoke hanging like a toxic wet blanket over the province. Mostly been reading, I guess. I finally read Maus. Michelle got it from the library after hearing so much about it at Comic Con. One of those books everyone should read, especially comic book fans. Dunno what took me so long. I just got another neglected-by-me all-time classic of the graphic arts from the library today- Akira. Now I just have to read The Iliad and The Odyssey and my training will be complete. Maybe there are some good comic book adaptations of those two . . .
Here is a picture of my wise toddler reading Toddler Wise. Upside down.

Star Wars Celebration V is in full swing in Orlando right now. Having just got back from SDCC, I'm not there but I'm there in spirit. Much like the ghost of Obi Wan was with Luke when he blew up the Death Star. Which is easy to do courtesy of Flickr photostreams such as the Official Star Wars one and attendees such as Evil Benius. I also like Club Jade a lot.
In the meantime I just have my own little Star Wars celebrations alla time.

Haha remember this terrifying Triceratops I drew? It was netcromanced (yes- the black art of internet necromancy, thank you very much) back to life today by David Orr over at Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs. Seems there's a debate over whether Triceratops is its own species or not. Well, even if he's not there's always Eotriceratops.

Don't you wish you could take photographs of music? And yet songs about photographs mostly suck. Exhibits A and B: Def Lepperd (Leppard? It has been too long since grade 8 and I don't recall how to spell them or if they have umlauts or not) and Nickelback. Exception to the rule: Yawning or Snarling by the Tragically Hip.

I actually bought some comics at Comic-con. Including this compendium of Man-Thing issues from the 70s. Reprinted in black and white but it's big as a phone book. I was scared it might be a little painful to read (after all, whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man-Thing) but it was so much fun. Lots of 70s cheese and really weird moments. See, M-T's swamp happens to be the Nexus of All Realities so that he would have something to do every month. One time the realities all sort of got mixed up and so a jar of peanut butter transmogrified into a barbarian warrior. Also Howard the Duck materialized and was killed off a few pages later when he fell of a stairway to heaven (Howard would later get his own series and become a minor 80s icon, they even made a movie which I thought was great when I was 12 but is widely considered to be among the worst movies ever made). Further up the stairway, a wizard gives M-T and buddies wings so they can fly away. The peanut butter barbarian asks the wizard why he didn't give Howard wings and the wizard says, I forgot! Not to mention that Howard, being a duck, should have wings. But doesn't.
In another issue, Man-thing fights ghost pirates in space!

After a great week I'm back home where hardly anyone dresses as superheroes. Hard to believe I have less than 24 hours at home then I gotta head back to Hinton for work. The ole coal mine is gonna look especially dreary after a week in San Diego. Let's not even think about that.
Yesterday as we left the convention center for the last time I saw two ladies step out for a quick break, so I approached them and asked for a photo. One, dressed as an Imperial Officer (well, a sexy Imperial officer) had a nametag. When I saw it, I said,"You're Adrianne Curry, I'm sorry, I thought you were just a random cosplayer." But she was gracious and they posed for a photo. Unfortunately it set off a chain reaction and she was quickly swarmed. I felt kind of like a paparazzi, but the difference is those guys never ask. Right?

I need to take a moment of silence because Comic Con is over. Today we mostly just did a little bargain hunting and photo taking. No panels or anything to speak of. We had a sort of mini panel discussion with two steampunk cosplayers on the trolley to the convention center. Steampunk, said the guy, came about when goths discovered the color brown.
It warmed my heart to see Michelle have a moment of transcendent geekery when we scored 3 discs worth of Battlestar Galactica soundtrack featuring music by Bear McCreary.
Later, back at the hotel, we figured we would take a cab to the In N Out Burger since, having watched The Big Lebowski about 87 times, I was dying to eat there. That little cab ride turned out to be the misadventure of the trip. Every trip needs one right? This guy had no idea where to go. Nor did he really know how to drive. At one point he was driving in circles in a parking lot. He had a GPS he kept typing "In And Out Burger" in and I kept telling him it was In N Out. He wouldn't listen. I actually had to break out my stern voice which only ever comes out as a last resort,. "The letter 'N' sir, N! Just type N! Not 'and', N. Just N. It's right there below your G. No! Listen to what I am saying! Delete all the way, yes! Right there, type N. N! Not AND!" And so forth. He went to ask directions and left the meter running. Luckily he turned it off and said it would be a free ride or there would have been more sternness. But we still had to get there! He almost had an accident and he was making Michelle carsick from all his jerky stops. But the burgers sure were good!

A quieter day for us at Comic Con. But still ten tons of fun. China Mieville had his own spotlight session, basically he read a great short story and then answered questions, incuding one from Michelle. Later he signed our copy of Kraken and he made it out to Pallas. In a few years I am sure she will come to love his writing as much as we do.

Another highlight was meeting my online friend the Rebel Penguin! Sweet! That was fun. And we stopped by the Red-5 booth and talked with the guys there, they're supernice. Some of them are Canadians too. And of course any time you have a lull you can always go and take photos of cosplayers!

One thing you learn at Comic Con is you can't possibly do everything you'd like, so you pick and choose and some things get sacrificed to the Mighty Odin. Like Galactus. I wanted to get the special exclusive ten foot tall (19 inches actually) Galactus action figure. Sadly it is all sold out. Earlier today on my way to stand in line I saw a smallish woman struggling with a whole case of them, so I carried it for her. A very long ways. Although I did it altruistically I was also sorta hoping karma would kick in. Turns out she wasn't a Hasbro employee but the daughter of a retailer who bought 4 cases to resell at his store. Would he sell one to me? No way of course not silly bear! Ah well. The rest of the day made up for it. Umm, other than all the standing in line I had to do. Michelle was already in the big hall and got to see the Big Bang Theory panel with special guests the Barenaked Ladies!

Joss Whedon put on a great panel, and it was hilarious when an incognito Nathan Fillion asked him who his favorite actor was. And the highlight of the day was the True Blood panel, almost the entire cast (minus Eric Northman and Jason Stackhouse) was there. There was some exclusive footage that I can't tell you anything about. But Sookie dies. Sorry!

As always, got lots of photos.

So we decided to miss out on the Whedon/Abrams panel. All the big things take place in Hall H, Angelina Jolie was there for a panel, and if you want to get in you pretty much had to line up yesterday or the day before. So we did other things, and we had a great time. Tons of fun actually. SDCC is fantastic! The Battlestar panel was pretty great. China Mieville was in a panel we saw, he didn't get too much time but he was fascinating and passionate and I really hope to get into his own session tomorrow. What else? Tons of cosplayers:

SeaWorld was pretty fun, we fed a dolphin. To a polar bear! Nah just kidding.



But Comic Con is here! Tonight was preview night, which basically means they want to start the party a little early. So we headed down and got our badges (which I have already lost twice but my wife always comes to the rescue! without I would have to go home). I was hoping to snag some exclusives but the lineups were already crazy. Oh well, got to meet Katie Cook and Travis Hanson. Meeting Travis was especially cool as we have several of his prints in our office and Pallas has one in her room, she kisses the polar bear in it goodnight and good morning every day. Here are some pics and don't forget where there's more!

We left Pallas at home with her grandparents, and this was definitely the wisest decision we could have made. But that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. She would have loved the San Diego Zoo. A disproportionate amount of the words she knows are animals (dada means dad and duck and panda; she sorta says yia for lion, na means snake and daboo means puppy. Oddly she has no word for bear) and she sure loves them. Oh well, I took lots of photos for her.

Almost time to head to San Diego for Comic Con. There I will undoubtedly learn more info about Iron Man and maybe some of his Avenger friends. I've been busy reading some old comics from the library and my own personal stash. Remember the Micronauts? They were cool. The Defenders too. Sadly, the Shogun Warriors didn't really age too well.
You know who was really cool? Man-Thing! But when you say "I love the Man-Thing!"it conjures up meanings other than the one you might have intended. Even his tagline, which is pretty fierce, has an unfortunate double entendre: "Whatsoever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man-Thing!"

I hope I never have cause to regret saying this, but I honestly think I just survived the worst week I will ever have as a pumpman. It was beyond ridiculous. It strains my meager writing skills to describe it. Like, I wish there had been a camera crew following me around so I could just show you. Maybe I can break it down, give you the merest of snapshots.
Monday: Crazy. It snowed all day. Rivers of water were pouring into CC3 (and everywhere else) and we were in danger of losing it altogether. Our only defense? My poor tired pumps that have been chugging along 24-7 these past many months. It sure would suck if one of them broke down hey? Anyways, on the bus ride home I was dozing and someone saw a bear so I instantly woke up and looked out and was amazed to see a type of bear not normally native to these parts. "Panda!" I shouted excitedly. Except it was a grizzly with two-tone fur like all the other ones we have around there. Everyone was looking at me, the world renowned bear expert, so I recovered by saying, "Doesn't she look a lot like a panda? You know, sort of? A little bit you have to admit. Ah f*ck you guys."
Tuesday: Still snowing. Yes, it is July. At 10:30 or so we lost one of the booster pumps in CC3. And the electric ones were coming ever closer to drowning. Tic toc the party never stops. They order a new pump (because there's no sense in having a spare on site right?) and it would arrive at 2:00. Of course it didn't. 4:30 at the latest. Okay maybe 6. Hey Nathan can you work overtime so we can put this pump in? Thanks. 8:30 at night it shows up. 12:30 AM I leave the minesite, in bed by 1:20. Up in time to catch the bus to work at 5:10.
Wednesday: Good thing there's a safety meeting first thing in the morning, I'm so tired it will be nice to sit still for a minute- I haven't even had time for a coffee break yet this week. Oops there's my boss pulling me out of the meeting to fix the pipe that blew apart when the electric pump failed for the umpteenth time this week. I've never seen anyone pulled out of a safety meeting before. Oh well. It was not too bad of a fix, not like the pipe that burst later that day. Hey did I mention that shovel 10 up in Prospect has been drowning all week too? Yeah, gotta get up there to fuel that pump and pull the suction line to desilt it and on and on and on. Also the haulroad is more of a haulriver, and even worse, the actual river is getting contaminated. All my problem!
Today: Might not be a bad day today! I actually have time to head down to the other end to check on some pumps that I have been assuming on faith are running all this week. But at 6:45 (my shift starts at 6:30) I get the call- "260 Nathan, we need you to grab your biggest pump and get up here, the culvert above shovel 10 has failed and it's a waterfall!" Yeah okay, I'll just throw a thousand pound pump in the back of my truck and head right up there. Who's idea was it to buy the cheap, thin-walled culvert again? Pretty sure it wasn't mine.
Well, we were still pumping out of CC3 at the end of my shift. Shovel 10 might not be alive anymore when I go back on shift, but we didn't lose anything on my watch.
Anyways, now I'm on holidays. Sandy Eggo!
Oh yeah plus I had to kill a deer on the way home. With a hatchet. That wasn't fun.

I read two Joss Whedon comics in succession and promptly came down with a Jossession. Did you know he wrote the Toy Story screenplay? I didn't! I knew he wrote the Alien Resurrection screenplay but that the movie bears little resemblance to his script. Also he is directing the Avengers movie! But can you believe that I've never seen any Buffy or Angel? One of the comics I read of his was Fray, which is about a slayer in the future, but that's my only foray into the Buffyverse. Anyways. Big fan of Firefly, so I have some Whedon cred.
So then I was wondering if he was perchance coming to Comic-Con. Turns out he's directing a documentary about it! Also he will be in a panel discussion with someone by the name of um, who is it again, J.J. Abrams.

Michelle was just perusing the Comic Con schedule and there's some pretty interesting panel discussions and stuff like that. And she's only on Thursday!
Wuh? Upcoming BSG movie?? Sweet! We'll definitely try to get into that one. Bear McCreary!
I think I will put on my own little panel discussion in um, room BSG-12 (second floor by the water fountain) where we will discuss secret plans of forming a new real-life superhero group composed entirely of bears. So, don't tell anyone, other than any bears you know with superpowers.