Working in a coal mine can be kind of crazy sometimes. I'm pretty good at what I do but occasionally even I make mistakes. Yesterday I pulled away from the water fillup with my water truck still attached to the fillup. Hoses and water everywhere, but amazingly I didn't break anything, just pulled everything apart and it was easily fixed. But as I was down on the ground contemplating how best to go about that, I looked up to watch two 260 ton trucks collide- 34 started to slide sideways because of the mud, clipping 32's mirror with the back of his box. The damage was mostly cosmetic. Both drivers had special instructors from Fort McMurray with them. Which is kind of funny when you think about it.

Since Jon (Darth Wildious in this incarnation) asked so nicely, I will give you some thoughts on Revenge of the Sith. Have you heard of it?
It was a lot of fun. Yeah it had some cheese and some bad acting, but so did all five other Star Wars movies, so no suprises there. When I see a Star Wars movie, I see it in full-on Little Homie Bear mode. I go back to when I was three years old seeing Star Wars for the first time, or when I was five and I didn't know there was an Empire Strikes Back till my parents took me, without saying where we were going, and being in absolute awe at the tauntauns, Walkers, Yoda, Darth's stunning revelation . . . and the three long years of speculation with people such as Darth Wildious as to whether Vader was lying or not, and what would happen to Han, all encased in carbonite like that. So I forgive the weaker aspects of the new trilogy, because it means so much. I just enjoy them for what they are. And Episode III had much to enjoy- the climactic duel is stunning, and surprisingly wrenching.
Having said all that, there are some things I wish had been a touch different- General Grievous was way cool, but his cowardliness kind of undermined him a little, especially since he was portrayed as having much more class in the Clone Wars cartoons. Oh well. He had four lightsabres so that makes up for a heck of a lot.
Anakin's seduction to the dark side was handled fairly well, though if I were to summarize it, it came a little too close to this:
Palpatine: Hey Anakin, did I ever tell you that I'm a Sith Lord?
Anakin: Really? You are? Can I be one too?
Palpatine: Sure!
Finally, the last thing that made me wince a bit was Lucas' ill-advised homage to Frankenstein at the end, which marred an otherwise brilliant and darkly beautiful scene.
Anyways, minor points. In Little Homie Bear mode, these things hardly matter. And if there is the nagging suspicion at the back of my mind that perhaps it could have been written a little better- perhaps even, forgive the hubris, that I could have written it better- it is only because Lucas himself helped awaken the immense powers of imagination and sense of wonder in me and my generation. May the Force be with him.

(Photo copyright 2005 al.ma;
used with permission)

The small girl
asks her father
what she sees
His answer
astonishes her
and even though
she isn’t quite sure if she should
believe him
her amazement
outweighs
her doubt


I suppose this could be seen as a companion piece to "Little Boys" that I wrote a few weeks ago. I hope you like it.

I wish I could have been the one to utter this sentence from a conversation I had today:
"He was holding a robot in his hand."
A sentence I am quite pleased I was able to utter today:
"Did you know your old church blew up?"

The Mystery of the Sasquatch
by Little Homie Bear

My report about mammals is about sasquatches, who are giant apes or cavemen or something that lives in the woods and mountains of North America. Also their cousin the yeti who some people call the abomable snowman who lives in the Himalayas mountains in Nepal and Tibet, which are two countries very far away from here where they have Mt Everest the tallest mountain in the world.
Anyways, there is very little known about these mysterious denizens of the primodial forest. Some scientists even claim that there isn't a such a thing as a bigfoot (which is what some people call sasquatches because of their big feet). But I don't know how they can say that when they also say that they have an uncertainty principal. But what IS known about the sasquatches is they are undoubtedly very big. Hopefully they eat plants and berries and not bears, but I think they don't because otherwise we would see more of them I think and have more fights. And I don't want to fight with these mythical beasts who might be from the Ice Age. Other animals that are from the Ice Age are the woolly mammoth, and I bet that the sasquatches rode on woolly mammoths.
The End

The mystery of the sasquatch fascinates me- I even wrote this touching paean to them. But I'm not one to get too excited about the latest "Caught on Film! " exclusive scoop of fuzzy, out-of-focus blobs that are probably either a bear or a guy out walking his dog. The latest example has been getting some coverage in the media, though I don't know why- it isn't that impressive (and I am being generous). But at least it has gotten me thinking about the subject again. Obviously a large primate prowling undiscovered in our backyards is an intriguing concept. But it's always something that's larger than life, you know? Aliens, Loch Ness monsters, angels, . . . maybe some or all of these things are real, and that'd be great if they were. I'd love it if someone proved there were real sasquatches. But since you can't prove that something doesn't exist, there will always be rumours, even if there is no such thing. Why aren't there ever rumours and fuzzy videos of a new species of rodent- maybe a polar porcupine, say, or a brown skunk or something? These things just aren't enough to incite the public imagination I guess.
In the meantime, though, there are all sorts of astonishing things happening out there- just last week they found an ivory-billed woodpecker after they were thought to be extinct for the last 40 years or so. Pretty cool. Or a new species of dinosaur that seems to show an evolutionary transition from carnivore to herbivore. Not to mention that whole Homo florensis discovery in Indonesia.
The other week at work I saw a grizzly, probably the closest I have ever been to one (aside from looking in the mirror I guess ;), and that was pretty damn cool. My point? If there are sasquatches out there, fantastic. But the world has more than enough wonder in it even without them.
(art by gloriouskyle, used with permission)

Here is my own entry for the Flickr contest, which I am not eligible to win but that's okay. Just being nominated is an honor. I'll announce the winner as soon as I figure out who it will be.

Flick couldn't believe his luck. What a year it had been for him! First his beloved hometown of Halifax had finally gotten a CFL expansion team- the Black Schooners. That alone would have made his whole year. Then they announced that the Grey Cup would be held here in Halifax! Wow! He almost thought he would burst. But that wasn't even all. His entry for the design-the-mascot contest had won!!!!!!!!! He knew it would, of course. How could such a brilliant, though admittedly obvious, concept not? He had submitted a drawing of a Nazgul. But not just any old wraith. This was a robot. And a pirate! A robotic pirate Nazgul was the official mascot of the Halifax Black Schooners! His prize had been season tickets, and best of all . . . they asked Flick to wear the mascot costume during the Grey Cup! Overload overload overload! Flick wouldn't have been at all surprised to be contacted by the Nobel guys to tell him he had won their prize too, that's the kind of year it had been.
When the big day arrived, Flick made sure he was there early to get the costume on. First he put on a metallic robot mask with an eye-patch, then the Nazgul robe. For a crowning touch, Flick let his pet kea perch on his shoulder, completing the whole robot-nazgul-pirate look. The fans went wild as he took the field for the pre-game warmup. Flick basked in their adulation, and then poured out some of his own when his heroes the Black Schooners took the field.
At half-time the score stood at 44-37 for the Edmonton Eskimos. Flick hated those Esks! And their mascot- a polar bear named Nanook? Please! Though he had to admit their bear suit looked surprisingly convincing. Flick's ruminations were interrupted when Mea Culpa (his kea) squawked loudly, a sign for Flick to turn and look at the stage erected for the half-time show. The special musical act was a tightly guarded secret. Flick had no idea who it would be, but he was eagerly anticipating the . . . ohmygoodness!! Could it be? It was! His favorite band of all time ever in eternity was walking past him to take the stage! Slipknot!!!!! #3 turned to him as he passed and said something that sounded like "Nice mask", though it was of course muffled. Flick was in heaven. It didn't even matter that the Eskimos broke the game wide open in the second half and won by 72-30 (an unprecedented event in Grey Cup history- the Black Schooners actually lost points for some reason). Flick even went over to the opposition mascot after the game to congratulate him, and was surprised to discover it was a real bear! The bear introduced himself as Homie, not Nanook, explaining that he just played Nanook for the games- they gave him a PSP for his troubles.
"But you know, I have a hard time working the controls with my paws, so why don't you have it?" Homie Bear gave Flick the PSP.
"Homie Bear, you are truly a great person," said Flick, "The very best." And thus ended the Best Grey Cup Ever.

Last chance to win a free Flickr Pro account- the deadline for entries is tonight. Just scroll down a couple of poosts for the rules.
Also, you can read how my friend Alyssa came to be "filled with a rage that threatens to consume" her. I got to hang out with her and Kavi and Rebecca last week for a bit and I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Until I read about her consumptive rage. This is an equation that just doesn't work in my mind- Alyssa=Rage.

Warmaster!
There is no way to be certain, but somehow I am fairly sure that I am the only person in the entire world listening to this CD at this moment in history.
Whoa.

(photo copyright niznoz; used with permission)

Boys

What you got there? I asked
the little boy
He showed me the sailboat
that he had made
in Sunday School

Another little boy
(approaching 90 years of age)
gleefully stopped me in the street
to show me an ad he had clipped
offering used cars for five dollars

In a coffee shop a third little boy
middle-aged this time
was poring over some maps of Switzerland
He showed me where he trains
fighter pilots to survive in the wild

When I was a little boy
I didn't want to grow up
Luckily I discovered
that you never have to stop
being a little boy


(Inspired by three encounters I have had in the past week and a bit.)

Wow- I slept for over 13 hours. That's what nightshifts can do I guess. I had an interesting dream where I was scuba diving and snorkelling with my sister, and she showed me her surprisingly water-resistant Gameboy Advance (I was hoping it would be a PSP) and then we went camping and got locked out of our cabin (well, I locked us out) while a bear prowled through our campsite. But he was a friendly bear just popping in for a visit so it was okay, and then we unlocked the cabin and went in to watch the Grey Cup.
This is all a circuitous way of saying I have a free Flickr Pro account to give away. See, on the way home from work the other day we saw a black wolf. It was beautiful. And huge. I kicked myself for not having my camera with me- one should have their camera with them at all times is a lesson I am trying to learn. So my dream was kind of another reminder- even there I was caught without my camera, which is probably just as well during the diving part, but still.
Anyways, I think Flickr is great. With a Pro account you can upload 2 gigs worth of pictures a month. But I'm not just going to give away a Pro account, I think I will make you earn it. So if you want it, send me either a Playstation Portable, your favorite photo or artwork (made by you) or else a personal essay that explains in detail why you deserve the account, and which also makes mention of how great I am, and references at least ONE of the following: robots, Nazgul, Grey Cups, keas, or Slipknot. Obviously you will get bonus points if you work in more than one. Open to anyone who can meet one of the three criteria. Anyone, even lurkers, family members and residents of Quebec who usually get left out of all the contests for some strange reason.I will give you a week. Starting last Monday. Just kidding. Starting today.
Send your submissions to nwaddell (at) gmail dot com.

I hope the world's best bull ballerina (or bullerina as he prefers to be called) will be on stage tonight when Michelle and I go see Carmen, performed by the Alberta Ballet. I think it will be excellent.

And my favorite manic nursery rhyme political rage metal band released a new single from their forthcoming disc. I heard it on my XM radio and it kicks ass. Lots of it. Can you guess who I am talking about? If you guess right I will let you buy me their new CD when it comes out.

It's been a long time since I've written any pooems. I think the last one was in Malaysia, about the binturong. I've been keenly aware that I have a great new redesign that I am squandering by not poosting better content. This one has been in my head as a vague idea for a while, but between work and wedding prep I haven't had time to develop it till today. Hope you like it.

The Animal Chanimal has a new show
A makeover-reality hit produced by a pro
For the Series Premiere they took an old skunk
The one who was always drunk and who stunk
They gave him some perfume called Scent Of A Rabbit
And took him to rehab where he kicked his old habit
They followed that up by taking a bull
Around to a china shop, knowing in full
The damage he’d do; but Gyrating Gina
Trained him to be the world’s best bull ballerina
Ratings increased and audiences cheered
As the Three Billy Goats Gruff shaved off their beards
And they cried right alongside when the One Trick Pony
Learned trick number two and signed on with Sony
So the producers got in touch with ole Homie Bear
And invited him to sit in the Guest Animal's Chair
There's a rhetorical question they want to address
"Do bears poo in the woods?" The answer is yes
They envisioned a new brand of bears that were cleaner
And much more polite and less grumpy or meaner
"Mr. H Bear, will you come do our show?"
Homie Bear looked at them and snarled out- "No."

I wonder why Mark Hamill never did any voice work for the new trilogy? That would have been cool and classy. There were certainly enough voice parts, and Mark is an accomplished voice actor, cartoon work being the main focus of his career for the past few years. Heck, even Warwick Davis got to be in Episode I- not that that is something Mark is necessarily envious of.
Maybe he has a surprise guest appearance as a wookie in Episode III and they are keeping it tightly under wraps.

Back from another bunch of nights in the pit! I got to try my hand at operating this old beast for a bit, while looking wistfully up at my Dad, a couple of hundred feet above me in his brand new shovel , which is up and digging now. He seemed pretty happy with it.
Like Michelle mentioned last week, the new one has all sorts of little perks, including a 6 CD changer. So he asked me what kind of music he should get that would be good for nightshift. So I suggested American Idiot by Green Day (because it kicks ten tons of ass), maybe the new Audioslave if it's out yet (I still prefer Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden personally, but I know Dad digs their vibe), and even Slipknot's Vol. 3 The Subliminal Verses. And since we just came off nightshift my brain just kind of froze up, so now I invite you all to help my Dad find some good night tunes (the kind that keeps you awake) by leaving your suggestions in the droppings.

According to my new book on bears (Bears, Bears, Bears), the spectacled bear is the only remaining descendant of the short-faced bears, which explains why it has the shortest muzzle among the bear family. I hadn't realized there were any descendants of the short-faces remaining. Which is why books on bears are so valuable- you should all go buy some today.
Since I can't show you my book, here is a website with the same info. And I like this drawing of what a short-faced bear might have looked like, while this scary guy comes from the BBC website.

I was reading this passage in Jonathan Stroud's The Golem's Eye:

The second John Mandrake was a furniture-maker's son who had spent his life researching the many variants of demonic mite. He had amassed a list of 1703 increasingly irrelevant subtypes before one of them, a Lesser Frilled Green Hornetwing, stung him in an unguarded area; he swelled to the size of a chaise lounge and so died.

Just then some kind of smallish bug of a type I had never seen before landed on my chest and tried to bite me. So I decided it would be prudent to prevent this from happening. But it got me to thinking- that would be a cool way for a book to be interactive. I'm not really sure how they would accomplish that though. Maybe through nanolasers, fiberoptics or a certain type of geosynchronous satellite, or more likely through some combination of all three.

Conveying what a coal mine is like to non-miners can be difficult. I tell Michelle all kinds of stories about my life out at work but she tends to just smile and nod while feigning complete comprehension. (An example of how our lingo can be confusing to non-miners- when I talk about shovels they invariably think I am talking about the implement you have hanging in your shed. But I'm not.) So this past week I was able to bring her and my mom out for a little tour. It was really fun to share my world with her, and now she has a bit of a better appreciation for what I am talking about when I tell her that I can lift 100 tons with one hand!

But I'll let Michelle tell you about her day herself:

Well, being completely naive about mining and small towns and being a through-and-through city girl, I had to rely on Grandma and Grandpa Waddell to outfit me accordingly. I was all ready to wear a white hoodie and my new hiking boots out to the mine when Grandma Waddell went fishing for an old pair of boots and a bright green windbreaker for me to wear. "It will be dirty out there, dear."

Of course I knew it was going to be dirty, but did I really? Nathan pulled up in the mining van and he had covered the seats with paper towel for us to sit on - my first induction to the filth of the mine.


As we drove around, my eyes grew larger and larger at the sites before me. Nath turned to me and said, "So hon, what do you think?" I just looked back at him (with that look of deers blinded in headlights), "It's really . . . big." And said no more. I don't think Nathan had any clue what to do with me at that point.

We eventually made it out to Cheviot mine (its about 20km away from the parking lot and I have never experienced a road like that in my life. The puddles and mud were unlike anything a city girl has ever experienced!)

Dusty (the foreman with whom I forever hold a grudge against for taking my fiance away every 4 days) gave us permission to go and visit Nathan's dad in his shovel. I actually climbed the ladder and entered my very first mining shovel ever and wow! It was really cool!

My first comment (betraying again my city girl-ness) was "This looks exactly like the cockpits in Star Wars!" (the ones you see Luke or Han siting in and fighting the star destroyers with). Nathan's dad sat in this chair, with a huge convex window in front of him (it even went underneath his feet!), operating this huge monster with 2 tiny video game joy sticks. It was incredible and at that moment, I was won over to the work of the mine!

After our stint with Nathan's dad, we again got special permission from Dusty (good ole Dusty) to go and look at the brand, spankin' new shovel they are building for Nath's dad to use.

Well, this naive city girl got to sit in this incredibly sophisticated machine, in the captain's chair (I know its not a space ship but we'll call it the captain's chair, okay?) before Nathan's Dad, the most experienced shovel operator at the entire mine, did. What an honor! And the best part??? The chair had a control for massagers and heat! Who needs the joysticks to control the shovel when you've got this?! It was perfect and so perfect that I couldn't resist but rub it in a little to Nath's dad :)

So, my experience to the mine was absolutely incredible. It started out quite daunting but proved to be very, very cool and I'm very, very proud of what my fiance does! Never again will I simply smile and nod, pretending to understand, because now I really do!!

While I toss around some half-formed ideas in my head (it's really too bad that "lemon" and "demon" don't actually rhyme), here is an interactive flickr photo of my work area so you can see where all the poo comes from. Uh . . . you know what I mean.
Related links: Gotthammer- He is going to marry me and Michelle, and I am pretty excited about that.
blu- he is designing my next tattoo, and I am pretty ecxited about that too!
Jackiewyse- who I meant to thank for sending me the Dutch polar bear christmas card and I never got around to it. I= bad friend! Thanks Jackie!
Where I got my wallpaper.
And the desk and computer and some of the action figures actually belong to gabrielle, who I abandoned in New Zealand so I could steal her stuff.

I am a Super Summit Scaler! What are you?
Did you know that the New Zealand five dollar bill has a picture of Sir Edmund Hillary on it? I thought they should call them Eddies, but no one else agreed with me. I tired to save some to bring back with me for my journal, but then I got to the Auckland Airport and discovered it costs $25 just to leave the place. Some kind of aiport tax, only payable in cash. No one told me! So I sadly gave them the five remaining Eddies I had in my wallet, and now I have none. But at least I am a Super Summit Scaler! No one can take that away from me.