So here's the thing: the first ever Gathering Arts festival, G-Arts, is this coming Sunday, and I still have no idea what I am going to do for it. A while ago I even dreamt that it was the day and I still had nothing and I had to make something up on the spot and it was awful and terrible and everybody cried including me. I am not very artistic, especially when compared to some of the amazing folks at the Gathering, so I am thinking on defaulting to poetry. Not pooetry, since I don't know how well that would go over, but not Poetry, either, you know, like what Alfred Lord Tennyson does. Just funny little rhymes like I like to write about Homie Bear and stuff. But I want to write something new, not just rehash oldness. The trouble, of course, is that creativity is not a genie at your beck and call. You can't just sit down and say, "Now I will create something that will make people laugh and cheer!" Usually ideas just come to me and then I have to ride the wave or else whatever seedling of an idea that was there will be lost forever, flushed down the toilet into the black hole of Chogtwer, whoever Chogtwer is, probably an anti-muse of some sort. See? I have created a sentence to be proud of, by mixing no less than 5 metaphors. But you can't just say "Now I will write a sentence that will mix 5 metaphors, and will introduce some new beast into Classical Mythology." It just sort of happens.
So, now I await my muse.

Homie and His Muse

Homie was feeling sad one day because he couldn't think
Of anything that he could write that didn't really stink
He tried to write an epic poem full of gods and giants
But instead he wrote a treatise on geologic science
"Graargh" he growled in frustration and ripped up his pad of paper
He decided he had had enough and would go off on a caper
So he went down to the lake and there he saw ol' Chogtwer
Homie asked "Have you seen my muse? I think I need to talk to 'er."
And Chogtwer said, "I hate the muses! I put them in my dungeon."
This made Homie very mad so off he went a lungin'
But Chogtwer was a giant god from an ancient eon
And so he stomped on Homie Bear as though he were a peon
But Homie has titanic strength and wasn't even hurt
He picked up the very startled god and slammed him in the dirt
And looked him in the eye while he summarily dispatched 'im
Pausing just to lick his paw where Chogtwer's toe had scratched 'im
Then he went down to the dungeon and freed all the captive muses
While there he saw the power was out so he replaced a couple fuses
Calliope and the other muses were so happy to be freed
That they said to Homie Bear "We'll give you anything you need"
Homie said "If it pleases you I'd like some inspiration
To write a poem about gods and giants and their mighty conflagration"
Melpomene said "Why Homie dear it seems that you have written
An epic tale of a fight wherein a god gets bitten
All you have to do right now is go on home and write it
For poetry is a gentle thing, you never want to fight it."
And Homie laughed and smiled at this for he knew that they were right
He just had to write a poem about his Chogtwer bite
And so they all went away pleased with a job well done
A poem had been written and everyone had fun!

Well, except for Chogtwer