Here is a non-Homie Bear poem in the vein of my Sea Serpent poem from last year. I am subtly bringing that one up again because at Shrek 2 (so good, btw) tonight there was a preview for a new Finding Nemo-like movie, which actually has some seahorse racing in it. Anyways, here is, umm, I never know what to call my poems. Van Helsingalong! No wait, that sucks. How about

The Monster Sutras

Voices whisper my name as I go out for a walk
Ghosts who are lonely and just want to talk
That's fine by me I don't mind to converse
With spirits and monsters who are under a curse
I met a zombie who said "A penny for your thoughts"
I said it costs a loonie cause I have lots and lots
Zombie said "I don't have a buck, but can I pick your brain?"
And he lunged at my head so I hit him with my cane
(That I got when a tiny vampire bit my femoral vein)
So Zombie ran away but my adventure wasn't over
I next saw a werewolf with a dogtag reading Rover
"How am I supposed to howl at the moon
When I have a sore throat and it's going down soon?"
I offered to howl for him at the next moon I saw
Grateful to me he then shook a paw
And went on his way, a genial fellow
For a werewolf he was surprisingly mellow
Not like the mummy who said he would choke
The next person who made a yo' mummy joke
So I said "Yo' mummy's so old that she dated King Tut
And she's fatter and wider than Jabba the Hutt!"
So he came after me with arms stretched out wide
Which made it easy to duck and run and go hide
It was time to go home, it had been a nice stroll
But I preferred to avoid that panhandling troll