Alright so I know I promised pirates but instead I have decided to tell you about how my wallet was stolen. The story is, essentially, this: my wallet was stolen. But of course it's more complicated than that, because I don't know for sure that it was stolen. I may have just lost it, and perhaps some kind stranger will mail it to me. Or perhaps whoever found it decided to keep it. I don't know- but I will give it a while before I go through the hassle of getting a new license and all that.
Obviously I already canceled my Visa. I called the Royal Bank to report my lost cards, like you're supposed to. The guy who took my call, who presumably takes such calls for a living, was surprisingly amazed at my predicament.
"Did you lose your bank card or your credit card?"
"Both."
"Both!!?? Did you lose your Social Insurance Number too?"
"No."
"Well, that's good at least." I guess I'm not a total idiot.
Anyways he sorted that all out for me so I guess his condescending manner can be forgiven.
Oddly, I am not even all that mad at the person who stole my wallet- maybe because there is reasonable doubt that anyone actually stole it. If you know me, you know I can misplace things with almost preternatural talent. Though I've never lost my wallet before. But there was no cash in it, and my Visa was not used, so nothing really was lost, other than some photos of Michelle but I have doubles of those anyways.
I guess I could be a little worried about identity theft- they don't have my SIN but my driver's license has all my other pertinent info.
Anyways, for sitting through that little story, here is some pirate art for you to enjoy, by lastscionz.