So I have a friend on my crew who runs a tattoo studio on the side and he does really nice work. He lives in Hinton so it's been hard to find the time to go see him to get some ink done. I was able to sit for him a couple of days ago for a few hours, really just enough to get started.
Anyways, it's my daughter! You can tell by the scary eyes and deadly spear (her new favorite toy). You know, we named her after the Greek goddess Pallas Athena (we dropped the Athena) and the Roman goddess of the dawn, Aurora. There will be a sweet aurora borealis in the background. Here's a slightly blurry photo that shows how big it is:

Look- a two headed monster! Not really. It's actually a sasquatch in disguise. Sorta like a transformer.
Truthfully, it is a little sinister, but for reasons that involve unions and politics and stuff I don't get into here.

I've been neglecting quite a few things lately, and not least among them is sasquatches. I've been mildly obsessed with them my whole life but have hardly given them a thought since my daughter was born. Today when I was driving home from Hinton I saw two bipedal figures cutting across a farmer's field. They were farmers, of course. But it's entirely possible that they were also sasquatches. It's not often you see two sasquatches so close to the highway like that. Were they a mated pair? A mama and a child, like a bear sow and cub? It's hard to say for sure. And were they migrating back north after the winter? Not much is known about the migration patterns of bigfoots. All these mysteries. I guess I could have stopped and taken some pictures but I know sasquatches are way more fun with a little mystique. As soon as you capture one and give it a latin name it's all over. Well, that would still be cool. What should its latin name be? Sasquatch sasquatchus, probably. Homo horribilis would be cool too.

Here's an intriguing and slightly chilling quote from a National Geographic article on the Hubble Space Telescope (November 2007):

Are these [multiple] dimensions real, or . . . just a handy way of calculating? Increasingly, physicists suspect that they are real. If so, the perceived universe is but a glimmer on the surface of something much larger and more complex, and the known laws of nature are not bedrock but a kind of weather, like the clouds that form over mountain peaks.

-Timothy Ferris (italics mine)

So that's a pretty good sized tattoo, right? Imagine my surprise the other night when I looked down and it was gone. Well, not gone, but so completely covered by mud that you could no longer tell it was there. And of course the mud didn't stop there.
Mud, thy name is mud.
One of these:

got stuck in the mud the other night. As a pumpman it's certainly not my problem (though you could argue that the presence of so much mud and water in the pit is sort of my fault . . . ) but I like to help out in these situations. Anyways, to get him unstuck we had to attach a sling to an eye which is back behind the front tires. Since I wear rubber boots I volunteered to go in there, not realizing the water was actually waist-deep. It was a warm night so I was only wearing sweats instead of coveralls. The weight of the water and mud on my sweats was dragging them down. And I had to take off my boots every couple of minutes to drain the water out of them.
Anyways after all that I went to change my clothes and that''s when I discovered my tattoos had disappeared. Luckily they came back or I'd be really mad!

So we have this thing at the library we take Pallas to, sort of a program for little ones. Laugh Learn and Sing it's called, or something like that. 30 kids ranging from 5 months or so to about 3yo. Last week, the first, Pallas was kind of being the brave one, not surprising at all for my little Explorer Extraordinaire, but she was also a bit of a bully which was kind of shocking for my sweet little gentle boo. Sorry, that should be capitalized. Sweet Little Gentle Boo. Well, it was past her naptime so a little meltdown was to be expected.
Today she did better in some ways- she was too shy to leave my side, but she didn't bully anyone aside from shaking her head at all the babies who were staring at her. Actually it was fairly uneventful. I'm pretty sure the librarian guy who was doing the program doesn't have any kids of his own, otherwise he would know better than to bring empty boxes of cereal and crackers for show and tell. And please don't give my little girl a stuffed animal and then demand it back moments later. She is too little to understand the concept of borrowing. She was inconsolable and we had to leave right then and there.
Luckily a cup of whipped cream from Second Cup cures all wounds. All for the price of a wee bit of carnage.

Remember when The White Stripes did that crazy cross-Canada tour and hit every province and territory? Plus they played free impromptu shows at the strangest places? Yeah, me and Michelle tried to get tickets and failed. Luckily they made a kickass documentary about the tour, White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights. If you like them you'll love the film. It's beautiful and full of great concert footage and all the little moments that make documentaries so fabulous. At one point Jack is playing a song on the piano, White Moon, and Meg is crying and you can't help but tear up a little too.
Anyways, a friend sent me a link to this YouTube video a friend of hers did. Wow. Check it out, and Jack White, if you're reading (and he of course reads Pooing in the Woods every day right?), give the kid a call!

Here's a companion piece to the other one, also a bit overstated and I even feel a little weird putting it up since it kind of makes me sound, well, not how I am. Obviously there are plenty of people with way more interesting and crazy jobs than me. But though this is not a true story per se it's definitely a synthesis of a surprising number of experiences I've had.

You all have the same boring ass jobs
in some office somewhere doing whatever
you invite me to your house
and whine about work all night
I listen politely and nod where appropriate
then when it's time to go
you ask
how's work for you?
fine I say
what do you do again?
well, I perform heroic deeds
beyond the scope of lesser men
have a good night

Well, that's the last pseudo-commie proletariat propaganda poetry you'll get out of me for a while, sorry!

Happy Easter! Here's a poem about Hell:

Preacher says
Hell is sulfur and brimstone
a lake of fire
the absence of god
but he's full of shit
because I know
hell is a pit
gouged from the side of a mountain
carved, torn and bombed from solid rock
where giant machines bigger than dinosaurs
spit diesel fumes and piss hydraulic fluid
the only devils are dust devils made of coal
from that goddamned wind that never stops
we curse it hard enough to make a demon blush
when you're out there all night
and you find yourself knocked to the ground
watching your own blood drip onto the mud
you think
that preacher was right about one thing
there ain't no god here
but hell isn't red
Hell is black

Holy radio silence! We've been in Hinton the last few days for a funeral and some visiting and stuff. And now I'm still here for some night shifts and stuff.
What can I tell you that doesn't bore even me? Ummmm . . .
Have you ever seen G.I Joe? Surprisingly good, especially in my friend Robin's amazing home theater (Michelle says it alters her heartbeat!)
Have you ever read Accelerando? I've been working on it for a month now and though it can alter your brain it's pretty good. Uploaded lobsters and stuff.
Have you ever heard the new Rob Zombie? Pretty good. Also I finally located a CD copy of D.R.I.'s Thrash Zone and been loving that up.
That's all I know.

So it looks like we'll be going to the Lady Gaga concert when she comes to Edmonton in August. Me and the boys were discussing her on the bus and I was defending her, saying how she is like Marilyn Manson and Madonna all rolled into one, and she lives her life on her own terms and doesn't give a f*^& what anyone else thinks. My argument must have struck home because then Craig called later and suggested we all go. Sweet! But Michelle informs me that this doesn't count as her choice that she was owed as a result of going to Slipknot.
Anyways, here is Christopher Walken reading Poker Face, via gabrielle.
While you're there you might as well also check out Gorillaz' new video with Bruce Willis. And . . . Nosferatu??
Don't forget OK Go's new one, which all hipsters have already seen twice but us oldsters are a little behind the curve I guess.

And I thought Anakin turned to the dark side a little too easily. Compared to this guy he was a paragon of willpower.
Pallas is way more strong-willed. In fact here she is trying to talk Darth Vader into going to get her some cookies. And Vader caved, like he always does.

I watched Where the Wild Things Are last night. I had high hopes and low expectations for it since I'd heard such strong reactions both +/-. In fact, Robin said he hated it- he even went so far as to say he thought the Jim Carrey Grinch movie was better! Very strong words since that movie was one of the biggest piles of poo ever pooed by all the poobears who ever pooed in the woods.
Anyways I actually really liked Wild Things but I can see why some people didn't. I mean, years of reading the book and looking at the wild things in that beautiful mixture of awe and wanting to be with them and being a little scared, well, seeing them being all depressed and like inmates in Nurse Ratched's Psych ward . . . it's not how I would've done it. But it still worked, at least as an interesting interpretation (and only that) of the 12 page book. There were parts that were absolutely stunning, and some truly funny dialogue, and James Gondolfini? Brilliant!
You know what was the one thing I was really disappointed in? That the end credits didn't have new Maurice Sendak artwork of the wild things! How could they miss such a golden opportunity?

Turns out when you buy passes to San Diego Comic Con you get a magazine in the mail. China Mieville will be there! Sweet! Anyways this visceral reminder that we're going to San Diego this summer inspired us to actually book our flights, which we just accomplished now. I even got one for free from Airmiles. And when I say free I mean only a couple of hundred dollars for taxes and insurance. So yeah, if you want a free Comic Con magazine just send me $200 and I can hook you up.
Speaking of getting great stuff in the mail, today I got a present from Jon- the Star Wars Atlas! Sweeeeeet! Thanks buddy! How's things going over there anyways? How soon till The Crab is out?
Sadly, Hinton still has no movie theater where one could go to see a native Hintonite's feature film debut. My buddy Robin, however, has the nicest home theater ever and maybe we can have a little film festival there. Seriously, he's been working on it for three years or better and now that it's finished it's truly a work of art.
Yesterday was actually my last shift with Robin as he is moving to the maintenance department to begin his apprenticeship. It was sad and was made even more sad because I was stuck on shovel and not being trained by him on pumps as I should have been. And was even more more sad because he got to blow up the ice covering a lake to put some pumps in and I missed it!

Have you seen this Lego Force Unleashed video yet? It's pretty great. Via Club Jade.

Finished page 4 of Star Wars #96 in action figure form. That's all I'll do for that for now because I am off to work for a few days or so.

We went swimming today! It's been way too long. Well, in Edmonton there aren't that many good pools for kids, at least not near by. There will be in another 6 or 8 months when they finish our huge rec center down the road, but until then, not much. Solution- go to Sherwood Park where they have the greatest pool ever! So much fun.

So here is a fun little project I am doing for something to do. Remember Star Wars #96 where Luke Skyalker fights Lumiya and gets his ass kicked? Until later her figures out he needs two lightsabers to counter her lightwhip. Then he beats her. But the first 7 pages are all Lumiya, and dialogue free and a beautifully rendered fight scene. Cynthia Martin, you rock! I decided to do an homage since Hasbro thoughtfully made a comic pack of this very issue. Turns out it's harder to do than you'd think. So far only two three pages finished:

We've been pretty much glued to the Olympics, you too, right? I've been lucky enough to get to see (on TV, not live in person) almost all of Canada's medal wins. Clara Hughes' bronze medal today was just as incredible as any gold, and the one-two in women's bobsled was awesome and Team Canada beating Russia and the upgraded speed skating medal and and and . . .
Did you know the company I work for provided all the metal for the medals? They even made a commercial about it that I saw once. My mine is but one of many in their conglomerate, so I personally had nothing to do with mining any Olympic metal. Too bad there isn't a coal medal! It could go to cheaters and sore losers!

What kind of units would life force be measured in? And don't say midichlorians!
A while ago a bunch of us were at work shooting the breeze, and we were talking about a new mechanic on our crew who was amazing at his job, though his enthusiasm for the job was steadily diminishing each week as he got more used to some of the work conditions that were his new norm.
"Yeah you can see the life force draining out of him a little more each day", I said. Everyone laughed but one guy, who is a good friend of mine but he has a bit of a history of resolving conflict with edged weapons, he says, "Yeah I love watching the life force drain out of a guy!" at which point we all stopped laughing and exchanged nervous glances instead.
Anyways so Robin figures me taking his pumpman bid is a surefire way for me to lose some life force. After the first day, I told him I felt so good that I thought I had gained a unit of life force.
This past week, well, it's hard to say if I'm ahead on life force units or bleeding them out profusely. All I had to do was get a pump system back in the bottom of this one pit that we are quickly going to need. This job was such high priority that they brought a guy in on overtime to help me the first day, and they pulled mechanics off of the #1 shovel to fix a pump. Wow, never seen that before, right?
Long story short, there is still no pump in that pit, even after four days of working on it steady.
Where to begin? The old infrastructure for the pump had been robbed blind over the winter, so I had to weld new pipe to put in, except the generator for my pipe welder had been robbed to power the lights of a backhoe. And there was no unfrozen pipe to weld anyways.
There are tons of other little details, such as there was no sense in installing anything until after we blasted a pattern directly above the sump the pump was going in, which wasn't scheduled till day 3 of my 4 day shift. So on day 3, comes time to blast, and the drill that had drilled the pattern is about to move out when it pukes up a main motor. So that takes most of the day arranging for two bulldozers to come and drag it out and so on and on.
Even yesterday, we were ready to forklift all the stuff we needed down to the sump, but the blast had covered the road and a backhoe was sent in to open it up again. Which he did no problem, except at the very end he lost a track and blocked the whole entrance.
But I did what I could and now I'm on four days off, so my units of life force is pretty much through the roof right now.

Things my daughter has been up to lately:
She's discovered my bobbleheads that Steve and Megan got me for Christmas:



She's also taken to bringing me socks for her to wear. Yesterday she was wearing pink socks but she came to me with a teletubbies sock, which she indicated I should put on her by tapping her foot with it. After I did, she crawled away and came back with the other one. Gotta match!
Also, she likes to cuddle all her stuffed animals and lay down on the floor to pretend she is having a nap. In fact the other day, she volunteered for a nap by pointing at her crib and her little sleep snuggly, and I was happy to oblige!



Yesterday I was making my culinary specialty, grilled cheese sandwiches, and she had to help me work the spatula. Since hot burners and babies aren't a good mix, I took her to her play kitchen and showed her how to stir and fry, and she's able to pretend stir and pretend taste. Mmm!
But she still only has three words, hi, mumum and daddad. Everything else is communicated with signs, whines or screams. Trying hard to teach her some more words!
Pallas Year 2 photoset.