I still never finished The Force Unleashed, not because it's not fun, but because . . . I dunno why. TFU 2 is coming out this fall, so I guess that can be the deadline. Here's the trailer, watch out because it might kick your ass.
Also, a new trailer for The Old republic will be released in the next few days, hordes of Sith invade Alderaan. How do I know? Facebook tells me these things. Not just for Farmville anymore!
UPDATE: Here it is!

Here's some books I've read lately:
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson- I like girls with dragon tattoos, I even know a few. If Fell Beasts can be considered dragons. And full grown vampires can be called girls. But anyways, good book. I hope the movie is good. Currently reading the second one, I think it is better. Michelle just finished the third one and says it's the best. I just like saying Lisbeth Salander. Fröken Salander. Interesting fact- the original Swedish title is Män Som Hatar Kvinnor (Men Who Hate Women)
The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold- this one pulled me in right away, I mean I'm the father of a little girl right? After a while I was just waiting for it to be over however. The ending was worth getting to, though. I wonder if the movie is good? Peter Jackson directed it so I don't see how it couldn't be.
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley- another mystery series, but in a genre that usually has sadistic serial killers and brutal sexual crimes, this one really is 'sweet', mainly because the main character is a 12 year old girl who loves chemistry, especially poisons.
Dry, Augusten Burroughs- I think I'm all caught up on his memoirs now. Not as funny or twisted as Running With Scissors, not quite as harrowing as A Wolf at the Table. As you can probably tell from the title, all about his battle with alcoholism.
Over to You: Ten Stories of Flying, Roald Dahl- one amazing fact that is generally not known about the world famous author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr Fox and James and the Giant Peach is that he was an honest to god Flying Ace in World War II. I would say he was a hero of the first degree. This is a collection of short stories about flying and pilots. Some of them are quite lovely, with a recurring theme of, I dunno how you would say it, not fantastic elements per se, but more of that thin place in between life and death that pilots like him in wartime lived in constantly.
Oh yeah and I picked up Marvel's recent adaptation of Wizard of Oz, mainly because I know the artist Skottie Young's work through deviantArt. Beautiful.

So the other day I went down to the Status Store to buy some Facebook statuses. There was a sale on, buy one get one free. They were even Twitter-optimized to be under 140 characters. Course I don't tweet but one of these days I might have to branch out. I loaded up, I paid for ten so I walked out with 20 really clever and witty statuses. I was trying to decide if I should use em all up in one day, just dump them out there so I'm on top of everyone's newsfeed like a passive aggressive drama queen. But a funny passive aggressive drama queen. But then I thought it might be better to ration them out, one or two a day.
Then this dude jumps from behind a sandwich board (listing 4 foods you should never eat) and he's holding a knife! Says "Give me those statuses right now muhfuh!
"But I just got these! They're Twitter optimized!"
"I ain't LOLing around here! Give em to me now!"
Obviously I had no choice. So now this asshole's out there posting MY statuses! As he was running away I cussed him out- "I hope no one 'likes' a single one of those, dickwad!"
He yelled back at me, "I did you a favor- now you can change your status to say that you got mugged!"
That's true . . . though it's really more of a story suited for a blog post.

You know, I hope you don't come here for deep insight into politics and stuff. Because I'm way too busy with my Star Wars guys. Did you know that the planet Mon Calamari is kind of the Star Wars version of Hollywood/Bollywood? Here's one of their most popular shows, Calamari Commandos:



Every week this crack team of commandos finds themselves getting into all sorts of traps and then fighting their way out again, all while keeping one step ahead of the Empire which is trying to bring them to justice. You got your retired rebel admiral, the Jedi, the master of disguise, the munitions expert. The guy in the back is the comedic relief, he hates to swim.

So today was race day for me- a 10 km run in the snow and rain. Actually it went pretty good- I am still waiting for them to post the official race times but I finished in the 53 minute neighborhood which is pretty much in the kickass class. Though some of them runners were crazy and did it in like a half hour. For inspiration I thought of Clara Hughes. Her gutsy bronze medal race in the Olympics but also an interview I heard with her where she said every cell in her body starts to hurt in the latter stages of a race- even her eyeballs. I figured since my eyeballs weren't hurting that I could kick it up a notch.

About 40 feet away from where I was working, a good 40 or 60 tons of rock came crashing down off the highwall. The pipe I was working on kicked a bit from the impact. My helper and I jumped but if we had been just down the road a bit all they would have found would have been our boots, sticking out from under a boulder.
I called my foreman to tell him the job was unsafe and that I was done. But he didn't answer and I had time to kind of cool down a bit. I looked at the wall above where we were working and it wasn't that bad. I had already cut the pipe and inserted the first of two huggers to repair it, so there was no point in leaving the job undone, the pit was slowly flooding and I wasn't about to leave it to the nightshift guy to do it. So anyways we finished the job (I commandeered the grader operator to watch the wall for us) and went home. Just another day in mining.
Earlier in the day, I was caught by my foreman and his boss hauling a flexible suction hose in a manner they deemed unsafe- I had hauled it up over the cab of my truck and chained it down so it wouldn't move. I didn't want to drag it on the ground for 10 kms so I thought this was a way better way to do it. The bosses disagreed and decided that it was better to do things the right way than the easy way. Fair enough, they even helped me rig it up differently.
A while later the big boss returned and we had an earnest heart to heart about safety. It was a lecture, but a gentle one. I didn't even mind, I am all about safety too. But then a few hours later I'm under the highwall doing my job. Boom! And I could have refused to finish that job, nobody would have blinked at that. Nonstop rain for so many days makes highwalls unstable. But I did it. I guess that makes me an unsafe worker. That's weird, eh? Last thing I want to do is get hurt, and definitely don't want to be squished by a boulder. But risk is part of the job, no matter how safety conscious you are. I don't see any way around that.

I was very saddened today to hear about the passing of Paul Gray.

Our friends
Are all hurting
From moments
And regrets
And charity
Laced with a lie
Still we keep hoping
To fix all the defects
And strengthen
These seminal ties
We go on together
For better or worse
Our history
Is too real to hate
Now and forever
We stay until morning
And promise to fight
For our fate

Til we die
Til we die

The start of a journey
Is every bit worth it
I can't let you
Down anymore
The sky
Is still clearing
We're never afraid
And the consequences
Opens the door
I never stopped trying
I never stopped
Feeling like family
Is much more than blood
Don't go on without me
The piece
That I represent
Compliments each
And everyone

Til we die
Til we die

We won't be forgotten
We'll never give in
This war we've achieved
Has allowed us to win

Til we die
Til we die

My last true confession
Will open your eyes
I've never known
Trust like the nine
Let it be spoken
Let it be screamed
They'll never ever
Take us alive

Til we die
Til we die

We won't be forgotten
We'll never give in
This war we've achieved
Has allowed us to win

Carry on
Carry on

(We'll never be broken
We won't be denied)
(Our war is the pressure
We need to unite)
(We'll never be broken
We wont be denied)
(Our war is the pressure
We need to unite)

Til we die
Til we die

We won't be forgotten
We'll never give in.
This war we've achieved
Has allowed us to win

Carry on
Carry on

We'll never be broken
We won't be denied
Our war is the pressure
We need to unite

Til we die
Til We die

We won't be forgotten
We'll never give in
This war we've achieved
Has allowed us to win

Til we die
Til we die

We'll never be broken
We won't be denied
Our war is the pressure
We need to unite

Speaking of Empire, here's a great illustration Chris Wahl did of Chewie on Hoth. This got me thinking what a showdown between a wookie and a wampa would look like. Not too good for the wookie I think. Unfortunately I was pondering this in the shower and clear forgot all about rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. This leads to a condition known as wookie wig.

It's the 30th anniversary of the release of Empire Strikes Back! Here's 30 reasons why it's the best movie of all time:
1. Wampas
2. 2-1B
3. Probots
4. 4-LOM
5. Snowspeeders
6. "Then I'll see you in hell!"
7. Tauntauns
8. Tauntaun guts
9. AT-ATs (but they fall down a lot!)
10. asteroid fields
11. TIE Bombers
12. Boba Fett
13. Bossk!
14. IG-88
15. Zuckuss
16. Imperial March
17. Ghost Obi-wan
18. Yoda's entrance
19. Mynocks
20. Space slugs
21. Do. Or Do not. There is no try.
22. 3PO gets blown up!
23. Chewie puts him back together
24. backwards!
25. Vader sits down for dinner
26. Carbon freezing chamber
27. Leia loves Han!
28. Han knows
29. Luke I am your father!
30. Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Once again a week of radio silence has befallen the Woods. Well, what can you do. I still have not much to say. We watched The Men Who Stare At Goats last night and I enjoyed it. Very funny if you like that type of humor. I read Living Oprah, a book about a woman who took one year of her life to do everything Oprah says no matter what. It was interesting, though maybe I was expecting something more A.J. Jacobsish. Also, what does it say about me that I knew of nearly all the O-people she talks about, like Dr. Oz, Nate Berkus et al. And of course Oprah. After five years of marriage I have become quite fluent in Oprahese. Fair is fair, since Michelle has been to a Slipknot concert and has learned the names of all the Oilers. And she's from Calgary!
Anyways, here's what I've been up to:

There was a petting zoo sorta carnival thing going on in our local park today. Pallas loved it! They even had a wallaby which is a type of kangaroo with cassowary claws but we kept her well away from that one.

Sometimes when you got nothing much to say you can talk about what you're into these days.
Musically I'm having an R.E.M. revival a bit, Hurricane Pallas unearthed some old discs I hadn't listened to in years. You Are The Everything and King of Birds are some great tunes that kind of got overshadowed by their now-somewhat-dated poppy hits like Orange Crush and Stand. IMO anyways. Also I got some songs from iTunes from a Canadian jazz singer name of Lily Frost. Bug Tax and Wychwood. Pretty cool.
I'm reading three good books right now- The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson and The Boba Fett Omnnibus. Reading them all at once can be a little confusing as I am never quite sure when Boba Fett is going to embark on his career as an escape artist or get his new tattoo.
I got a 3-pack of George Clooney today at the Blockbuster (not intentionally it just worked out that way, I mean, I like him but not like that). Fantastic Mr. Fox because I've been wanting to watch that one again ASAP since the first time. Men Who Stare At Goats which I haven't watched yet, and tonight we watched Up In The Air. Pretty good, right? Not sure Michelle liked the ending but I was happy. A friend at work lent me seasons 1 and 2 of The L Word which I've been really enjoying. What's not to like? Added bonus- many BSG actor cameos.
I registered for the Little Big Run today. Been running a lot. So much, in fact, that the sizable investment I made recently in blue jeans has taken a nosedive just like the DOW Jones. They fall right off, actually. I might need a bailout, or at least a belt.

So I have a friend on my crew who runs a tattoo studio on the side and he does really nice work. He lives in Hinton so it's been hard to find the time to go see him to get some ink done. I was able to sit for him a couple of days ago for a few hours, really just enough to get started.
Anyways, it's my daughter! You can tell by the scary eyes and deadly spear (her new favorite toy). You know, we named her after the Greek goddess Pallas Athena (we dropped the Athena) and the Roman goddess of the dawn, Aurora. There will be a sweet aurora borealis in the background. Here's a slightly blurry photo that shows how big it is:

Look- a two headed monster! Not really. It's actually a sasquatch in disguise. Sorta like a transformer.
Truthfully, it is a little sinister, but for reasons that involve unions and politics and stuff I don't get into here.

I've been neglecting quite a few things lately, and not least among them is sasquatches. I've been mildly obsessed with them my whole life but have hardly given them a thought since my daughter was born. Today when I was driving home from Hinton I saw two bipedal figures cutting across a farmer's field. They were farmers, of course. But it's entirely possible that they were also sasquatches. It's not often you see two sasquatches so close to the highway like that. Were they a mated pair? A mama and a child, like a bear sow and cub? It's hard to say for sure. And were they migrating back north after the winter? Not much is known about the migration patterns of bigfoots. All these mysteries. I guess I could have stopped and taken some pictures but I know sasquatches are way more fun with a little mystique. As soon as you capture one and give it a latin name it's all over. Well, that would still be cool. What should its latin name be? Sasquatch sasquatchus, probably. Homo horribilis would be cool too.

Here's an intriguing and slightly chilling quote from a National Geographic article on the Hubble Space Telescope (November 2007):

Are these [multiple] dimensions real, or . . . just a handy way of calculating? Increasingly, physicists suspect that they are real. If so, the perceived universe is but a glimmer on the surface of something much larger and more complex, and the known laws of nature are not bedrock but a kind of weather, like the clouds that form over mountain peaks.

-Timothy Ferris (italics mine)

So that's a pretty good sized tattoo, right? Imagine my surprise the other night when I looked down and it was gone. Well, not gone, but so completely covered by mud that you could no longer tell it was there. And of course the mud didn't stop there.
Mud, thy name is mud.
One of these:

got stuck in the mud the other night. As a pumpman it's certainly not my problem (though you could argue that the presence of so much mud and water in the pit is sort of my fault . . . ) but I like to help out in these situations. Anyways, to get him unstuck we had to attach a sling to an eye which is back behind the front tires. Since I wear rubber boots I volunteered to go in there, not realizing the water was actually waist-deep. It was a warm night so I was only wearing sweats instead of coveralls. The weight of the water and mud on my sweats was dragging them down. And I had to take off my boots every couple of minutes to drain the water out of them.
Anyways after all that I went to change my clothes and that''s when I discovered my tattoos had disappeared. Luckily they came back or I'd be really mad!

So we have this thing at the library we take Pallas to, sort of a program for little ones. Laugh Learn and Sing it's called, or something like that. 30 kids ranging from 5 months or so to about 3yo. Last week, the first, Pallas was kind of being the brave one, not surprising at all for my little Explorer Extraordinaire, but she was also a bit of a bully which was kind of shocking for my sweet little gentle boo. Sorry, that should be capitalized. Sweet Little Gentle Boo. Well, it was past her naptime so a little meltdown was to be expected.
Today she did better in some ways- she was too shy to leave my side, but she didn't bully anyone aside from shaking her head at all the babies who were staring at her. Actually it was fairly uneventful. I'm pretty sure the librarian guy who was doing the program doesn't have any kids of his own, otherwise he would know better than to bring empty boxes of cereal and crackers for show and tell. And please don't give my little girl a stuffed animal and then demand it back moments later. She is too little to understand the concept of borrowing. She was inconsolable and we had to leave right then and there.
Luckily a cup of whipped cream from Second Cup cures all wounds. All for the price of a wee bit of carnage.

Remember when The White Stripes did that crazy cross-Canada tour and hit every province and territory? Plus they played free impromptu shows at the strangest places? Yeah, me and Michelle tried to get tickets and failed. Luckily they made a kickass documentary about the tour, White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights. If you like them you'll love the film. It's beautiful and full of great concert footage and all the little moments that make documentaries so fabulous. At one point Jack is playing a song on the piano, White Moon, and Meg is crying and you can't help but tear up a little too.
Anyways, a friend sent me a link to this YouTube video a friend of hers did. Wow. Check it out, and Jack White, if you're reading (and he of course reads Pooing in the Woods every day right?), give the kid a call!

Here's a companion piece to the other one, also a bit overstated and I even feel a little weird putting it up since it kind of makes me sound, well, not how I am. Obviously there are plenty of people with way more interesting and crazy jobs than me. But though this is not a true story per se it's definitely a synthesis of a surprising number of experiences I've had.

You all have the same boring ass jobs
in some office somewhere doing whatever
you invite me to your house
and whine about work all night
I listen politely and nod where appropriate
then when it's time to go
you ask
how's work for you?
fine I say
what do you do again?
well, I perform heroic deeds
beyond the scope of lesser men
have a good night

Well, that's the last pseudo-commie proletariat propaganda poetry you'll get out of me for a while, sorry!