These little guys came trick or treating today- actually they are old friends. Why are whiskeyjacks so unshy? They are like keas in that way. Though I'm not sure I'd want a kea flying on to my hand.

I think the scariest thing for me this Halloween is my bus driver. For some reason, finding a good bus driver for us poor coal miners has been problematic (as I've talked about before- and the suicidal driver we had? Yup, he finally succeeded but at least he did it in private). This one we have now is whiny and annoying, but if he could drive I wouldn't mind. He hasn't figured out how to regulate the heat in the bus; he drives with his window open, dusting us out, so he doesn't fall asleep (a prudent safety measure but not one that inspires confidence); he won't let you have your reading light on in the first four rows; he has the two-way radio way too loud . . . like I say, annoying but I could live with it if he could drive.
Tonight he almost rolled the bus when he pulled over to let someone off and went into the ditch. Luckily it wasn't icy so he was able to get out without killing us all. He laughed and said "Sorry guys" like it was no big deal but no one else was laughing. Someone called out to a fellow passenger, "Hey Pete, maybe you should drive!", and the bus driver says, "What? You want more heat?"

So our new shovel has finally started arriving. Here they're just putting it together. We would have gotten it a lot earlier in the year but it was at a mining convention in Las Vegas or something. Oh yeah- here it is. This one is a hydraulic shovel- more like a backhoe than anything else. Our other shovels have power cables and I spend many many hours coiling, reeling, moving and otherwise ensuring they don't get wrecked. Despite my vigilance they are still wrecked way too often. So it'll be nice having a shovel sans cable. Running it will be fun too, at least until the novelty wears off. That usually takes a couple of hours.

Fanart Friday: Elphaba

So I am finally reading Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. Pretty good so far, though I have never read any of L Frank Baum's Oz books, and the last time I saw the entirety of The Wizard of Oz was likely in 1984 or so.
Here we have some art by lsyw, ArtNerdEm, MontyGog and mizuai respecitvely. As always, make sure to visit their galleries and give them some love.

You know, Empire Strikes Back is kind of hazy on chronology when you think about it. How long was Luke training with Yoda? Didn't seem like very long and then he was off to Cloud City to try to save the day. But then, how long was the Falcon drifting through space to get to Bespin? Thinking of these deep questions made me envision a touching scene wherein Luke Skywalker is communing with the spirit of his father Anakin.

Spirit of Anakin: So you're a Jedi already, eh? How long did that take?
Luke: Not long. Like, a few weeks.
Spirit of Anakin: A few weeks?? It took me ten years of training under Obi-Wan!
Luke: Well, you killed Obi-Wan before he could really teach me anything.
Spirit of Anakin: Ah. Well, he chopped me into pieces and left me to burn to death last time I'd seen him so he kind of deserved it . . .
Luke: But you chopped my hand off!
Spirit of Anakin: Yeah, sorry about that. Uh, so . . . got a girlfriend?
Luke: No. I was pretty into Leia at first, she even kissed me once, but that was before I knew she was my sister.
Spirit of Anakin: What? You kissed your sister?
Luke: Well, like I said, it was before I knew she was my sister. I mean, what were the chances?
Spirit of Anakin: You are no son of mine! Luke, I am not your father!
Luke: Noooooooo!

Hey look at me go! Pooing in the Woods is now 6 years old. Hard to believe but at least the blog is finally the same age as me (mentally).
Lots has changed- I have less hair and more wives and children. Uh, make that exactly one wife and approximately 0.6 of a child. Few more months and that will be exactly 1 child!
And for those of you who have been here since the beginning and miss all the talk of poo, don't worry- when the cub gets here there will undoubtedly be plenty of poo talk!

Thanks to Mistytang for the Halloween Homie!
Hopefully everyone can see him at your different screen resolutions- he might be the headless Horsehomie at 800X400 or whatever.

Fanart Friday: Nightmare Before Christmas & Corpse Bride

This is Halloween! This is Halloween!
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Well then take a look at some fantastic fanart from Tim Burton's two stop-motion masterpieces. Make sure you listen to Marilyn Manson's version of the song while you do!


(From left to right, art by: cd-marcus, daekazu, spookychan, sonitweek.


(from left to right, artwork by: Washuuchan, Mrs Dalloway, Favius, Izabella.

A photo from my Flickr archives I forgot all about- kind of a Halloweenish looking tree, eh?
Here's another:



And what about this shot? Scary. Frost dryads live in there you know.

Remember the good old days last month when everyone thought the Large Hadron Collider would create a black hole that would suck up the Earth from the inside (a la Dan Simmons' Big Mistake of '08 in Hyperion)? We were so naive back then. Who knew an economic black hole would cause a sucky implosion of an entirely different and less cool kind.
Certainly not Stephen Harper.
I bet you he wishes he could create a black hole to open a wormhole to last month so he could uncall his snap election. Oh well. Although my thoughts on the federal parties are largely unchanged from the last time I think I will still vote for him. Or at least, not for Stephane Dion. Dion's goofily endearing habit of giggling at his own jokes won me over a little, and that interview he was roasted for I thought was actually points in his favor- I speak English as my first language and barely understood that guy's question (if you used to be the prime minister today what would you have done differently yesterday to avoid the Hadron Collision scheduled for tomorrow? or something like that)- but I can't vote for a guy who thinks it's a good idea to raise my taxes and give all the money to Quebec and Ontario. Sorry- been doing that for years and it hasn't gotten me anywhere yet. Now is not a good time for new taxes. Just ask everybody.
I wish I could vote for Slipknot.
Anyways tomorrow is the day so get out there and vote for someone!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Although I am actually all alone this weekend, slaving away at the coal mine, I am thankful there is still a coal mine in which to slave away at. Also I'm thankful for the NHL season which is underway and the Oilers have their season opener tomorrow night.
And, let's see, I'm thankful for monsters and zombies and ghosts and sasquatches and stuffs like that.
Also my wife, who is in Calgary though. Just me and the zombie sasquatches out here in coal mine land.

Amidst the crashing of financial markets the world over I almost feel crass to tell you I have to spend a thousand dollars on personal health and wellness before the end of the year. But coal mining is an occupation that is especially vulnerable to the vagaries of the commodities market and this time next month I could easily be facing impending layoffs. So if my employer wants to give me a grand to spend on getting more healthy I might as well take advantage while I can. The question is how.
I already run, and that doesn't cost much money at all- just shoes every six months or so. I'm all geared up for hiking too though next year I might use this fund to get some new gear. But considering the time of year I am thinking of finally trying out snowboarding. Yeah I know- I grew up a half hour from the Rockies and have never snowboarded. Hardly ever skied either. But no one ever offered to pay for it before!
So like, do you just go buy a snowboard from the snowboard store? Or are there different types of boards depending on skill level and usage? Based on my ability to toboggan standing up I am already pretty much an expert. And I figure I'll probably need one that can do flips and shreds. Maybe ollies and hang tens too. So what brand is that?
Oh yeah, and I already asked- a Wii Fit is not covered.
Also I have a $50 gift card to Chapters- anyone got any book recommendations? I was thinking of getting The Art of the Force Unleashed. Because there is some beautiful artwork in there. But I'm open to other suggestions too.

I always feel like I'm coming up for air after a set of nightshifts. The world went on without me? Weird. Work was alright, nothing really unusual. My old buddy Leon lost his temper a little and barked at Graeme over the radio, much to everyone's amusement. "You keep doing like that I'll punch you in the face!" Even though threats of physical violence are contrary to company policy and even federal law, it's all in good fun at the ole coal mine. Oh well, at least no one got hurt. Or shot. One coworker of mine shot another ex-coworker of mine while hunting a couple of weeks ago, and as much as I'm dying to tell that one, it's not my place. But oh man! Crazy.
Anyways have you tried the Genius Playlist generator on the new iTunes? At this point it's more of an idiot savant, I'd say, with emphasis on the idiot. I put in Wanted Dead or Alive (Bon Jovi of course) and it came up with Metallica's Unforgiven- a good choice musically, especially if the song were about the Clint Eastwood movie (which it isn't); Pantera's Cowboys from Hell- a good fit subject-matter-wise at least. Not sure how "My Best Friend's Girl" (The Cars), "I Love You" (Sarah McLachlan) and Alanis's Ironic really fit though. Among others just as baffling. Here is my own Genius Playlist building from Wanted Dead or Alive:
Blaze of Glory- Jon Bon
Wherever I May Roam- Metallica
Farewell Ride- Beck
The Man Comes Around- Johnny Cash
Snake Song- Emmylou Harris
No Roads Here- Corb Lund
Cowbys from Hell- Pantera
Working Class Hero- Green Day
Redemption Day- Sheryl Crow
These ten songs are all brilliant and putting them together in one playlist is truly genius. If you are for some reason missing any of these fine tunes let me know I might be able to hook you up.

This month's National Geographic's cover story is about Neanderthals! Sweet! It was a good article, all about the latest DNA findings and stuff- with a reconstruction of a female Neanderthal done as accurately as currently possible.
The frustration with anything Neanderthal-related is that we'll never know anything for sure. We have best guesses and intriguing hypotheses, a few fossils, and that's about it. Tantalizing, fascinating, but not quite satisfying. I want to know what they looked like, how they lived. I want there to still be Neanderthals!

Gimli?? Is that you?



Since I got the new version of iTunes I made it get album artwork for all my songs. I don't remember ANY of these guys being in The Two Towers, do you? But that is apparently the cover for that particular soundtrack.
Anyways, here are the iTunes I have downloaded so far with my giftcard. Note the absence of Rascall Flatts:

Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
Seasons In the Abyss - Slayer
Insane In the Brain - Cypress Hill
Crossing Hearts / Cutting Threads - Wendy McNeill
Winter - Joshua Radin
The Sad Sssad Story of Rosa Rabbit and Sasha Snake - Wendy McNeill
Rhymin' and Stealin' - Beastie Boys
Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Con - Tegan and Sara
Paper Planes - M.I.A.
Epiphany - Bad Religion
Epiphany - Staind
The Moon - Cat Power
Danger Keep Away (Full Length Version) - Slipknot
It's Good to Be King - Tom Petty
Walking With a Ghost - Tegan and Sara
Living In the Golden Age - Gowan
So Glad We Made It - Sheryl Crow

Fanart Friday: Slipknot

I was kinda tired from work so I was just about to head off to bed- still got one more tomorrow- but I saw this pic in deviantArt's new images feed so here you are (by B04-juice):



The obvious step from here is to show an individual portrait of all 9, and undoubtedly I will, later. For now check out this stunning Chris Fehn, by ilison, more where that came from:

Clown by Alleycatsgarden.

Steve and Megan, my brother- and sister-in-law, sent me an iTunes gift card for my birthday! Yay! And thanks guys. One of the dumb side-effects of losing my wallet and having to change my Visa number is that when I went to use said gift card, and had to register for an iTunes account, my lack of credit card info stymied me. D'oh. Well, I should get my new card when I get home from work next week, so all will be well. That will give me more time to think of songs I should download. Here's a list so far:

Slipknot- Danger Keep Away (Full Length Version)- who knew the final track on The Subliminal Verses was available twice as long?
Slayer- Seasons in the Abyss- As hard as it is for me to admit, I never bought SitA even though it is one of the top five metal albums of all time. Well, I just kept borrowing Rowan's copy.
Cypress Hill- Insane in the Membrane. Because how could you live through the 90s and not love that song?
Sinead O'Connor- Nothing Compares 2U. I also lived through the late 80s/early 90s and though it took a few years to get over the over-play of this song, I think I am ready. Oddly, every YouTube video of this song is muted.
Billy Talent- I remember reading about some bonus rack they made for charity, so I will get that one.
Sheryl Crow- she made a charity track for the American Olympic team. Seemed to work for Michael Phelps!

Now it's your turn- you can suggest me songs to add and I will consider them. Steve's suggestions will get more weight since he is my brother-in-law and he got me the card. Megan's, though she also got me the card and is my sister-in-law, will likely be completely ignored because, well, though we get along in every other way, we just don't see eye to eye musically. She hates Slipknot and I can do without Rascall Flats. The very thought makes me shudder!
Harvey likely has some good suggestions too.
Do you?

Wallet update- good news! My Grandpa found it for me- at the store where I thought I might have left it. I called there and the owner answered and said it wasn't there. Since I could tell he didn't even look and I wasn't even sure he understood me, I went there in person, and the same thing- he didn't even look. Then I had to go to Edmonton so there was nothing I could do. So my Grandpa went there the next day and talked to someone else who knew exactly where it was. Yay for Grandpa!
Here's another anthropomorphic pirate scene of mayhem I found for you to celebrate!
Anyways, did I mention I got a Wii for my birthday? Yay! From Michelle, my sister and her husband. And lots of other people contributed gift cards and such for accessories. So much fun. Got Force Unleashed today, been having fun being all Sithy. You know, Vader's Apprentice. Have you played it?

Alright so I know I promised pirates but instead I have decided to tell you about how my wallet was stolen. The story is, essentially, this: my wallet was stolen. But of course it's more complicated than that, because I don't know for sure that it was stolen. I may have just lost it, and perhaps some kind stranger will mail it to me. Or perhaps whoever found it decided to keep it. I don't know- but I will give it a while before I go through the hassle of getting a new license and all that.
Obviously I already canceled my Visa. I called the Royal Bank to report my lost cards, like you're supposed to. The guy who took my call, who presumably takes such calls for a living, was surprisingly amazed at my predicament.
"Did you lose your bank card or your credit card?"
"Both."
"Both!!?? Did you lose your Social Insurance Number too?"
"No."
"Well, that's good at least." I guess I'm not a total idiot.
Anyways he sorted that all out for me so I guess his condescending manner can be forgiven.
Oddly, I am not even all that mad at the person who stole my wallet- maybe because there is reasonable doubt that anyone actually stole it. If you know me, you know I can misplace things with almost preternatural talent. Though I've never lost my wallet before. But there was no cash in it, and my Visa was not used, so nothing really was lost, other than some photos of Michelle but I have doubles of those anyways.
I guess I could be a little worried about identity theft- they don't have my SIN but my driver's license has all my other pertinent info.
Anyways, for sitting through that little story, here is some pirate art for you to enjoy, by lastscionz.

Apparently it's talk like a pirate day, and I never knew. Perfect segue for Fanart Friday but I have to go to work in mere minutes, so maybe I will be a day late and do it tomorrow. Arrr, 'tis a good idea.

A few weeks ago I was listening to the title track of Slipknot's new album. Michelle came into the room and asked me what I was listening to. "Slipknot- All Hope Is Gone. It kicks ass."
"It does kick ass," Michelle agreed.
Seriously, it kicks ass. There wasn't really any doubt about that. The surprise is that, despite the title, it actually is the cheery album I jokingly called it last month before it came out. Well, maybe not cheery. But hopeful. Maybe at the tail end of eight years of Bush and war and recession, the only way to be truly metal is to offer hope.
Like this recurring theme in "Wherein Lies Continue":

I only wanna believe in fucking anything
but now my conscience is contradicting everything . . .
We only wanna believe in fucking everything
But we're alive and not accepting anything . . .
I guess I'll never believe in fucking anything
But my solace is I can handle everything . . .
We have to save ourselves

That's the hope Slipknot offers- not in belief, not in god, not in government, but in yourself. Ourselves. The Nine of them, united "Till We Die" and the rest of us maggots.
"We'll find a way when all hope is gone"

Dear Facebook:
Everyone knows your new version sucks so I don't even need to go into that. I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually, like I got used to all the other less-better versions of things that were just fine how they were (remember several versions of Blogger ago?). One small request though- I would appreciate it if the buttons actually worked when you clicked them. Buttons like Post! and Confirm (as Friend).
Anyone can make a button that doesn't do anything- look:



Yours truly,
http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=626851200

And completely unrelated, exact opposite in fact since this doesn't suck at all, check out Jane Austen's Batman. Brilliant.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Yay! To celebrate, I go and work for 12 hours. But on the plus side, I get to go home tomorrow night- should roll into town around 11PM. Where my pregnant wife who teaches full time and also coaches volleyball will undoubtedly be sleeping away. And on the even more plus side, after tomorrow, four days off.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but when I am away in Hinton for work I stay with my grandparents, who take pretty amazing care of me. They provide me with a comfy bed and hot meals and all they really ask in return is some conversation. Which is why I suck.
There isn't a whole lot we have in common- though I remember fondly the time Grandpa intoned the classic opening lines to the old radio show The Shadow. But he isn't too aware of Slipknot or The Dark Knight. And I try to keep all of Grandma's Red Hat Ladies straight but don't always succeed.
I try really hard, and often succeed, but working 12 hour shifts with two hours of travel time above that, I am often tired, even grumpy when I get home. On nightshifts I am somewhat dazed getting up at 3:30PM, so either way I am not always the best company, as much as I try to be. Now, I am never ever rude to them, not ever. But sometimes I can be pretty distant. Not always, but still too often.
Tonight was good though- tonight we talked about polio. I realized, from watching an episode of House that I really don't know anything about polio. But guess who does? Grandparents.
I already have a topic for tomorrow night- Roger Bannister's Miracle Mile. I read that he ran that in Vancouver at the PNE of all places- I bet they'll know all about that.
If you have other suggestions in a similar vein please please leave them in the Droppings below.

Fanart Friday: 70s/80s Marvel


The other day I found a great picture of Rom, Space Knight by Chad Fuller. I loved that old robot! Actually I think he was a guy trapped in a robot body. Whatever happened to him anyways? Probably still out hunting Dire Wraiths in the cold depths of space. So I decided to do a feature on the old comics from my youth that are mostly forgotten today. Like the world's best non-team, the Defenders! Or what about Man-Thing? Don't forget Iron Fist.

(art by Jay Anacleto/tmd2008; Saltares; Lord Mesa)

I think She Hulk has always been around but here's a picture of her anyways, by Zanker. Then there's Spider-Woman (seen here rendered by Jerry Carr), I think she's been revived lately. Longshot hasn't been, but BDPatton tried with this cover he submitted to Marvel. Looks like he married Dazzler and they had a baby.

Some little children tried to beat me up yesterday. I was walking to my bus stop for work when a 4-year old walked up to me and proclaimed "You suck!"
Without even really thinking, I replied, "No, you suck!"
"No you suck!"
"No you do!"
So it went for a while but I had a bus to catch so I kept walking, and then the little guy smacked me as hard as he could on my back. He even took a running start. Then his little buddy came and said, "Let's run him over!" They were on bikes and scooters.
I said, "That's really not a good idea."
But if I think about it, it really wasn't a good idea for me to engage in a debate with a four year old.
Another interesting thing about last night- I accidentally called 911 when I was trying to call my wife. We have to dial 9 to get out and then 1 to reach Edmonton, so it's an easy error to make. But try explaining that to the cops. He took my name and home address and all sorts of stuff. He was getting downright personal. Don't you have any 4-year olds to catch?

There it is!
The first photo of the little protobear. Gender unspecified for now- but more because it was hiding. Camera shy already. That little blob on the left is its head. Or possibly that more amorphous blob on the right- I can't really tell now. One possible source of confusion is that I seem to have scanned it upside down. Oh well. The other picture we got looks like a demon skull or some sort of alien. Which opens up all sorts of cool naming possibilities. Cthulhu Waddell! The downside is little Cthulhu would forever have to spell her name to teachers and receptionists. Yog Sothoth would probably be easier.
Anyways I wrote a haiku in honor of one of the gazillion doctors and nurses and technicians that have suddenly become a part of my life:

o-b-g-y-n
why do you all spell it out?
I just say objin

Tomorrow we have our ultrasound appointment. That's pretty exciting. Of course the big debate right now is whether to find out if the little critter is a boy or a girl. Michelle really wants to find out, but I am more inclined to wait. But in fairness I asked her to present her case. She was watching a courtroom drama when I got home from work so I was expecting some razzledazzle oratory and impeccable logical rhetoric. Her argument: "I really want to know!!!!!"
So then it was my turn.
"Okay so you know about quantum physics right?"
"No."
"You don't?"
Anyways, the gist of my argument is that, once we know, this quantum uncertainty of gender will be a known factor, and all of the fun we are having trying to choose a name will either end altogether (in the case of a boy since we have already decided what Boyquantumstate will be called) or, um, well, I forget how I worded it. Anyways we ended in a stalemate. But then Michelle started looking at boy names.
"How about Roman?" she said.
"How about Spartan?"
"Be serious!"
"I am serious- how about Leonidas?"
"Leonidas sounds like a disease."
"It's not a disease it's a mighty Spartan warrior."
"All I hear is 'itis'."
"It's not Leonitis it's Leonidas!"
"Well I like the name Roman."

Finished reading Iron Council by China Mieville. I think The Scar is still my favorite of the three Bas-Lag novels, but they are all amazing and relentlessly creative. Where Perdido Street Station, for all its freshness and vividity was essentially a bughunt, Iron Council is more political, maybe not a manifesto (Mieville is a socialist) but a pretty good fable about the oppressed.
Anyways, here is a little fanart since today is Friday- some Bas Lag sketches by HomarusRex.



And a far more in-depth review of Iron Council if you want to know a bit more.

No eating breakfast for me today. I have some sort of medical thing I have to get done for work so I have to fast. So here's what I've had for breakfast instead:
John Scalzi discusses the pivotal role of Ellen Ripley in Aliens.
At io9 a brief look at some of the best science fiction covers ever. Only thing is, most of their choices suck! Brain Wave? Is that a sea monster or a monkey? My own favorites- all of Michael Whelan's covers for The Martian Tales of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and The Godwhale, by Unknown Artist. Among others.
And BAT Booshka makes me want to go to Russia! Or maybe Gothamgrad.

Fanart Friday: Clone Wars
The best thing about the whole prequel trilogy was the Clone Wars Animated Microseries that Gendy Tartakovsky did. Though he isn't involved in this new CG Clone Wars series, the aesthetic is more or less the same so despite some negative reviews I am excited for this new chapter in the Star Wars Saga.


This row: Grant Gould's Anakin; Dennis Budd's Yoda; Trev Murphy's Obi-Wan; and Shoomlah's Ahsoka Tano redesign.


And can't forget the clones! This row: Ragelion's Clone cards and Asajj; in between those is Galeart's Incoming Storm; and Grant Gould and Katie Cook teaming up for a Yoda/Padme scene.

Here's a trailer for the new Animated Wonder Woman dvd:



You've probably seen the beautiful cover art - I know Selkie has- but you might not realize it was done by deviantArtist Lauren Montgomery, aka NotThePornStar.

I just have to say I am pretty proud of our little cub who recently developed forward facing eyes! Way to go little protobaby! But with stereoscopic vision comes great responsibility- like quit making your mother sick alla time!
Anyways, here are some fun Star Wars links that hopefully are new to you.
You can find out how R2-D2 would say "stereoscopic".
You can make your very own Stormtrooper cubecraft guy, as well as myriad other guys.
Too bad these Chewbacca plush mouseys are all sold out.
And you might not have seen the newest batch of Steampunk'd Star Wars figures from Sillof- this time it's bounty hunters!
Here's a Flickr photopool devoted to Clonetroopers. I think I have a photo or two in there.
And finally, a YouTube video of Lego Darth Vader conducting the Imperial March.

Also it's unlikely you want to hear about digging rocks all day at the mine. But you DO want to hear about the new Slipknot CD! Isn't that the best news you've heard all week? Maybe even all year! What's that honey? Oh right, the baby. Uh, second best news all year! It's called All Hope Is Gone.
Sounds like it will be more cheery than their last one!

And you probably don't want to hear about all the baby stuff we're buying. But everyone likes to hear about gorillas, especially good news- like the 125,000 of them just discovered in this secret gorillaland.
And how about the snubfin dolphins caught on tape for the first time?

I must be turning into a boring suburbanite since all my days lately have been taken up with landscaping and such. And I know you don't want to hear stories about landscaping. Even if they involve female gravel truck drivers hitting on me. Sort of.
Actually I don't really know what you want to hear about, but if you're anything like me you want to hear about werewolves versus vikings. DeviantArtist Extraordinaire, Grant Gould (aka grantgoboom), has been working on his Wolves of Odin graphic novella for a while now and though it's not out for a few months, you can see some pinups and other goodies at his WoO blog. Plus his personal blog where he talks about his art, including his involvement with the Clone Wars for Topps and Lucasfilm. How cool is that?

Look- A Saturn Ion Decepticon!

This red panda doesn't look very happy but she is only wrestling with her sibling, like cats sometimes do. See?
Have you been over to Starwars.com lately? They have a whole scene up from the Clone Wars movie that you can watch. Nearly as cool as this Clonie Bear Mistytang did for me!
Last night, driving home from The Dark Knight, Michelle told me she had never seen Batman (Tim Burton, 1989 ). So we rectified that tonight. After 19 years I guess it's okay to say that movie is a little dated. I still remember the overjoyedness that followed seeing that movie for the first time with Jon. I wonder what 14-year-old Homie Bear would have thought of The Dark Knight. As much as I loved it as a 33-year-old adult, I'm glad I got to grow up in a simpler time when Burton's vision was seen as revolutionary and cutting edge. Maybe my dad thought the same thing about Adam West.

I wasn't even gone for that long- 12 days- but everything seemed so different when I got home. First there was all the grass in the front lawn that never used to be there. Very nice- and my wife and mother-in-law did all the grunt work. Did I mention my wife is pregnant? Pretty much Superwoman. Then there was the matter of the toothbrushes. Teethbrush? Someone must have rotated the toothbrush holder while I was away because I grabbed the one in the space where mine normally is and turns out it was not mine. When vengeful Superwife confronted me I could only laugh while she smited me. Not the first time and probably not the last, right?
Anyways, a friend of ours is on the E-ville Roller Derby team (I only just now got that E-ville is evil!) and today we went and saw a scrimmage- very cool! You should check them out.
And tomorrow- the froggies! Yes, again.

Skyline = lotsa skeeters + crazy wind + no bears + ten tons of kickass
It was a great hike, perfect weather. Amazing view at the top. Why didn't you come along? Michelle of course was regretfully exempted on account of pregnant. But it was the best surprise ever when I got back to Hinton and she was there waiting. Otherwise this would be day 9 of a 12-day non-Michelle stretch. And that doesn't kick any tons of ass.

I'm off to hike the Skyline Trail tomorrow. My wife is scared I will be eaten by a bear. I am more scared of the Joker!

Chapter 9 (click here to go back to the beginning)

Of course, Dart had to go see if it was raining frogs right now. It wasn't. Nevertheless he had high hopes and vigilantly scanned the horizon until Callie came to see if he was alright. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Nothing. So what do we do when it rains?" "Mostly we wait for the rain to stop." "That's it? Isn't there anything fun we can do?" "Well, we could play a game- try and guess when the rain will stop." "I guess now." "Nope." "Now." "Sorry." "Well then definitely now." "Wrong again." Eighty-three incorrect guesses later, Dart decided this was a dumb game. "There must be something we can do?" Callie remembered her own days as a froglet, when every day was an adventure, every discovery amazing, and every game life or death. Sometimes sitting around telling stories and waiting for the sun to come out just wasn't any fun. Sometimes a frog just wanted to get out there and jump around. Besides, it might be a good idea to be creative and give Dart something to do lest he start thinking about his parents. "I know," she said. "Do you want to go see the rock monster?" "Rock monster?" "Yeah, it's a big rock that looks exactly like a monster. Wise old frogs like Rana say it's just a harmless piece of rock that happens to look like a monster, but I know better . . ." Dart urged her to go on. She paused just long enough to make him bounce up and down. "The rain brings it to life. Briefly. Long enough for it to feed." "What does it eat?" "Froglets, of course. And it doesn't matter what kind of froglets, either. I think it like poison ones best of all. Since it's made out of rock it doesn't really worry about poison too much. But don't worry- it can't stand red-eyes like me. So if you want, I can take you there." "Uh, why? Wouldn't it just be better to stay safe? I thought you said that just because most eaters will leave me alone that I should still try to keep away from them." "Yeah, mostly that's true, but. But." Callie tried to think of a convincing reason. She breifly considered telling Dart it would grant him a wish but she realized there was no way to make good on such an empty promise. Telling stories, embellishing the facts was one thing, but outright lying was a bad habit to get into. "are you telling me you're too scared? That's fine. We can stay here and wait for it to stop raining. I don't mind. Either way." "No, I'm not scared! No way! Don't you remember how I chased off that spider? Did I look scared to you? I'll chase the rock monster the same way. Yeah, I'm not scared. More like, let's go right now!" To prove how unscared he was, Dart took off into the forest. Callie laughed and called after him, "Wrong way Mr. Smarty-Darty. Come with me, I know the way." Callie headed off in the opposite direction. Dart followed, marveling at how dim and gloomy the rainforest floor was. Spying a froglet-sized mud puddle, he detoured into it, splashing mud all over his blue skin. Presently he remembered the task at hand, which was hunting monsters, not playing in the mud. He looked up. Callie was nowhere to be seen. "Callie?" he called. No answer. Well, she was heading in that direction, so Dart decided to try to catch up. He didn't notice the shape that detached itself from a waterlogged aloe. It crept up behind him, moving silently. Dart slowed down. Still no sign of Callie. He called her name a few times. How could she have left him behind? Was she that absent-minded? Couldn't she pay attention to what she was doing? Dart felt a tingling sensation in his tympani. He turned around. "BOO!" Callie jumped out at him, just like the first time they met, and the sight of her varihued belly was startling amid the gray drabness of the weather. Dart screamed. Callie laughed. "You went right by me! When will you learn?" Dart was embarrassed. And a little annoyed with Callie. "That wasn't nice." "Sorry- I couldn't resist. You were trying so hard to be brave even though you were obviously scared . . . " "I wasn't scared!" "Yes you were, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that, especially since you were willing to go anyway. I respect that. You're a brave little guy, even when you're scared." "Really?" "Yeah. Yeah, really. But maybe I should tell something. There isn't actually a rock monster, you know. It's just a game, something to do. A little harmless adventure. I mean, there is a rock that looks exactly like a hideous monster that eats froglets, but it's just a rock." Dart was relieved, but also disappointed. He had to admit he was having fun. "Can we still go see it anyways? Just for fun?" "Of course! Let's go!"
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So how long has it been? Too long. I was hoping to get some new writing done this week while on vacation but I was too busy. But I typed this up, I think I wrote it over a month ago, because I wanted to post something before I went away to work again.
It'll probably be a while before you see a new chapter. Slowly but surely.
Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to Travis Hanson, one of my favorite artists ever, who did that Homie Bear with froggies pic for me.
For a soundtrack, I think Rock Lobster by the B-52s would be cool, if only because I don't think another opportunity to use that song will come up in the course of this story.

One more day of holidays for me. Hasn't been all that relaxing, but I am pretty proud of the deck, and the two-foot deep trench I dug (am digging, rather) for the garage's electricity. And I ran for one hour today, a new HB record! I wanted to hit that milestone before I went back to work because next week I am going on a three day hike with my friend Robin (we hiked the Tonquin Valley last year) and the better shape you are in, the more fun hiking up and down the inclines of the Skyline Trail is.
According to page 16 of Schuyler's Monster (great book by Robert Rummel-Hudson whose blog you should bookmark), at this stage of its development our little bean is sporting white fur called lanugo. Rob writes, "No one really seems to know what it does, other than give you a little albino Wookie for a few months." Or, a polar bear cub!
Since I was busy digging a trench in my backyard yesterday, I didn't post any fan art for Hellboy, but let me make up for that a little by directing you to this:
Hellbear by spaghetti016.

I can finally tell you that I'm gonna be a Papa Bear! Woohoo! We will have a little cub sometime around January 21st. I couldn't be prouder. We've known for a few months but obviously it is best to let the first trimester pass before getting too crazy with the public announcements. This morning we went to the doctor and heard the baby's heartbeat, it was so amazing.
A few months ago I was on my way to work, night shift, when Michelle called to say that various signs and wonders caused her to believe that she might possibly be pregnant. Then she hung up so she could take a home pregnancy test while I paced the floor in Hinton. She called back and said it read positive. Then I had to go to work. We were doing some crazy coalminery thing and I couldn't take it anymore so I told my foreman I had to go call my wife and that I would return and finish the job later. Michelle had taken three tests to confirm so it seemed the writing was on the wall.
So, things have been pretty exciting around here although I think Michelle has not been having as much fun as she would like- little cub is already quite naughty and making Mama Bear throw up alla time. It took me a while to learn that cheering every time she vomited was not really appreciated- to me it was just more proof that it was all real.
Yup. Feels pretty great!
And that bear cub artwork was an early deviantArt commission I commished from cme, actually as I recall it was to benefit katrina victims so that was a few years ago now.